


A New Toy

by CallMeCandy



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Assault, Biting, Bondage, Boys Kissing, Captor/Captive, Choking, Collar, Creampie, Dissociation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, Forced Handjob, Forced Kiss, Forced Orgasm, Gaslighting, Graphic Rape, Hands Free Orgasm, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort Later, Hurt/Comfort/Hurt, I add tags with each chapter, Kidnapped, Light Bondage, Light Torture, Light force feeding, Lube, M/M, Marking, Masturbation, Mind Break, Mind Games, Minor Dissociation, Neck Kissing, Nightmare Sequence, Overstimulation, Prostate Massage, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Punishment, Rape, Rape Fantasy, Rape Fetish, Rough Kissing, Sadism, Severe gaslighting, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Sexual Punishment, Sexual Torture, Sexual Violence, Slow Mind Break, Starvation, Stockholm Syndrome, Stockholm syndrome later, Teasing, Thriller, Trauma, anal rape, blowjob, collar and leash, definitely fetish fuel, forced blowjob, haircut, handjob, leash, mentions of depression, mirror stuff, more to come - Freeform, non-con, pain play, pinning, psychological abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:46:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 38,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24312982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallMeCandy/pseuds/CallMeCandy
Summary: No matter how long Yoosung has been kidnapped, he can’t get used to the harsh treatment he has to endure. Now his captor is proving to be more sadistic than he thought.
Relationships: Choi Saeran & Kim Yoosung, Choi Saeran/Kim Yoosung
Comments: 97
Kudos: 225





	1. Belonging

**Author's Note:**

> Content warning:  
> -starvation  
> -light force feeding  
> -mentions of abuse  
> -abuse  
> -forced sexual acts

Yoosung didn’t know how many days it had been with his captor.

Well, it could’ve been days, but it also could’ve been months. Since captured, Yoosung was never able to tell when day or night was around. He would’ve attempted to follow a schedule from observing what times Saeran, the name the man introduced himself as, but even his sleep schedule was completely out of routine. For all Yoosung knew, any time he was down in the cells with him it could be 4 AM or 4 PM. The boy hadn’t been allowed to see sunlight, and with the lack of such he was feeling his mental state deteriorating. It was already being negatively impacted from the abuse and torture he was periodically forced to endure. He had experienced depression before on multiple occasions, but this was a new low for him. One time he was able to spot his reflection on the bars of his cell. It wasn’t easy to see, since there wasn’t exactly a cleanup crew where he was held. Even though his reflection was comically warped and dull, Yoosung could still see the dark circles under his own eyes. His complexion was paler and not exactly the healthiest. Even his face looked depressing. He avoided any reflections after that. Everything felt off, for all he knew reality could be collapsing. He hated looking at his hands, they didn’t even feel like his anymore.

The one time he dared to ask to go outside, just for a bit, he was met with an intense punishment. The memory alone was painful. Yoosung could still feel Saerans hand tight around Yoosung’s throat, holding him down on the cold concrete. The impact of blows to the face still made his head throb. He hadn’t been able to fight back, the lack of food he was deprived with had taken a toll on his body. All he could do was weakly tug Saerans sleeve as he was met with blow after blow. He was still recovering from the bruises, both on his face and his neck. His sense of time may be off, but even he knew that the marks from his assault were taking quite a bit of time to heal. He learned his lesson not to ask for anything unprompted.

Currently, the boy was sitting in his cell on the dirty mattress Saeran had finally granted him. it was thin, stiff and had a few suspicious stains. Still, Yoosung was incredibly grateful. Sleeping had become significantly easier. Yoosung traced circles on the wall he was leaning against with his legs tucked up to his chest. He didn’t have many activity choices, so he resorted to creating imaginary patterns to endure the time being completely alone. He barely heard the sound of footsteps coming down the basement stairs. The blonde boy looked up to see Saeran descending.

“I see you’re busy,” he joked. “I decided it’s been a time since I’ve last visited, and I might as well visit now.”

He strolled to the bars, looking down at Yoosung at the back of the cage. Saeran tsked and unlocked the opening. He normally wasn’t this careless, but immediately on seeing Yoosung he was shown just how lethargic he had become.

“I guess I spent a little too long till feeding you, you aren’t dying on me are you?” He walked up to where Yoosung was sitting and dropped down to a crouch, elbows resting on his knees. He gave a few harsh pats on the cheek that made Yoosungs eyes feel like the plastic googly eyes he used for crafts as a kid.  
“Are you hungry little boy?” Saeran asked as he reached into his coat pocket. Yoosung felt a pang of shame at being referred to in such a demeaning way, but the pang of hunger was stronger.

“…y…yes…”

Saeran silently pulled out a small loaf of bread. He then took Yoosung’s jaw in hand and forced it open. Yoosung squirmed and tried to move his face away.

“Weiyt, I can fheed maiself-HRMMNH”

Yoosung’s muffled speech was cut short as the bread blocked any more words. Saeran broke the rest of the bread off before roughly moving Yoosungs jaw for him, forcing him to chew. Yoosung closed his lips, not wanting to drop anything for fear of any further starvation. The bread was partially stale, but it was the best goddamn bread Yoosung had ever tasted.

As Saeran fed him more, Yoosung became more eager. Saeran eventually let Yoosung chew for himself and watched as he scarfed down the bread. When he finished he couldn’t help but look at Saeran.

“Why are you giving me that puppy look? What, you want more?” Saeran tilted his head to the side. “Was that not enough? Am I not enough for you?”

Yoosung shivered. Even though he had fed him, this was one of Saerans bad days.

“N..no that’s not..”

“I’m a busy man, do you expect me to drop my work so I can come see you whenever you cry? How selfish, I give you what I can when I can, and you ask for more.”

Yoosung turned his gaze to the floor in shame, guilt starting to creep up inside his chest. Saeran’s hand closed tightly around Yoosung’s cheeks and yanked him to face up again. It wasn’t expected so Yoosung let out a little yelp. Saeran sighed and flicked Yoosung’s forehead with his free hand.

“You really are hopeless. Maybe if you started giving me something in return, then I could help you out more.”

The blonde furrowed his brow, unsure of what he could possibly give. It was only then that he heard the sound of a belt being messed with. He tried to look down to see what was happening, but Saeran's grip on his face didn’t loosen. Yoosung tried to focus his tired mind to what was happening, this was going too fast. Why was Saeran looking at him like that? Why is his hand going so low? Why is he…touching him? Yoosung practically jolted out of his skin when he felt long, cool fingers trail down his abdomen. If it hadn’t been for Saerans grip on his face, he definitely would’ve jumped back and knocked his own head against the wall.

“What, are you shy?” Saeran laughed, making Yoosung blush a bright red. This was embarrassing, uncomfortable, humiliating! He finally caught on to what was happening and he felt a twang of panic. Saeran must’ve seen it because he let go of the boy and was suddenly cupping his face gently in his hands. He pulled Yoosung closer until their noses were nearly touching.

“I’ve been bored, and I’m sure you have too. The difference between us is I’ve been working and proving my strength, while you’ve been wasting away like the useless bug you are.” He spoke so gently, but his words were ice. “How about you start trying to be at least a little useful, yeah?”  
Saeran let go of his face and stood up. Yoosung blinked and suddenly was at crotch level with the pale haired male. Saeran dropped his black leather coat to the ground before undoing his belt. Yoosung looked away as Saeran began to undo the zipper. He suddenly felt fingers tangle in his hair and yank his head back, making him cry out in pain.

“Don’t look away.” His captor growled. His tone was deadly, angry. It must’ve been a horrible few days for him, because there was a different level of threatening in his voice. He let Yoosungs hair go and let his head fall forward again. Yoosung reluctantly, but obediently, turned his eyes back forward. He watched as Saeran’s hands undid the rest of the zipper before pushing the hem of his boxers down. Yoosung’s eyes followed the other boy's V-line as it was exposed. His eyes continued to follow his hands as Saeran pulled out all of his length. He was…limp. Yoosung looked up at him in confusion. If Saeran wanted to do this, Yoosung would’ve expected him to be aroused. He felt fingers in his hair again and soon found himself pressed against Saerans dick. Yoosung gritted his teeth and found himself pressing his hands against Saerans thighs, but endured as he continued to look up at him. His captor had a demented look in his eyes, and Yoosung finally understood why he was doing this. It was a power thing, Saeran could care less about any sexual frustrations he had. He had no problem taking care of them himself, but Yoosung was at his mercy and he wanted him to know it.

“There you go again with those puppy dog eyes, do you want it that badly?” He teased, and Yoosung’s face contorted in disgust at the implications. Saeran’s laughter was slowly growing to be more maniacal. “It isn’t going to get hard by itself, pet.” He let go of Yoosung’s hair and let him pull away. Yoosung hesitated a moment too long, and was swiftly punished by a light (but effective) slap on the cheek. He held his cheek and tried his hardest not to scowl. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take, and they haven’t even started.

For fear of a worse punishment, Yoosung scooted forward on his knees and tried to stall a bit by pretending to find a comfortable position for himself. He placed his hands back on Saeran’s thighs and took a moment to himself. He was surprised he wasn’t getting punished for waiting any longer, but was relieved for it. He leaned in slowly, trying to keep his breathing steady as he used his tongue to lift Saerans cock and take the tip into his mouth.

“Bite, and I’ll cut off your hands.”

Yoosung quivered at the threat and squeezed his eyes shut. As soon as he had the tip in his mouth he started to bob his head. He did his best to run his tongue over spots he knew for himself to be sensitive. He pulled it more into his mouth and ran his tongue up and down the underside of his shaft. He felt it begin to harden in his mouth. Yoosung wasn’t sure if he should be disgusted at it, or glad that it was getting closer to being over. He felt a mix of both as he continued. Saeran sighed and pulled his hair back once again. Yoosung was forced to look up. 

“You really are a good-for-nothing, you can’t even do this right.” He paused as he took in the sight below him. Yoosung’s mouth hung open with his tongue slightly out. A saliva trail led from it to the tip of his cock, which twitched in excitement. He had to admit to himself, that was a very pretty sight.

“You need to suck on it, not just lick it.” He pushed his head back down and forward. “Try it again.”

Yoosung’s fingers grasped tight onto Saerans pants, balling it into his fists. He took a few shallow breaths before going in again. Saeran was harder than before, which he took as a good sign, despite the harsh criticism. He’d never done this before, and couldn’t help but feel frustrated that he was expected to be good at this. Yoosung’s lips closed around Saeran’s length again and took the advice into action. He started to suck, tentative at first but quickly got bolder. He felt Saerans muscles tense up under the fabric of his pants. It only took a few more bobs of the head until he heard Saerans breathing grow unsteady. He couldn’t see what Saeran was doing, but the noises he was making gave him an indication of what his facial expression would be.

“Fuck..”

Yoosung took this as encouragement and started to go faster, but Saeran growled in disapproval. Yoosung quickly slowed back down. He felt hot tears spring into his eyes. He just wanted this to be over, but he knew that Saeran wouldn’t allow it to be that easy for him. He wasn’t in any hurry to cum, he wanted to take his sweet time to break Yoosung in.

By now he was completely hard. Yoosung pulled back to run his tongue across the tip before pushing his head forward again and sucking it into his warm mouth. By now Saeran’s breathing had gotten heavier, and little moans pushed out here and there. Yoosung turned his eyes to the corner of the room where a particular large crack adorned the concrete wall. Without breaking his patterns or speed, he started to focus on it. The wet sounds of the blowjob and Saerans soft moaning was starting to fill the room. Yoosung tried his best to channel that out by really studying the crack. It started below the middle of the wall and crept up, stagnated a little, hit the end of the wall and continued in a steep incline to the ceiling. He wondered how it got there. It seemed like a fairly old basement, so he assumed it was just from wear and tear.

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt Saeran clasp his hands around Yoosungs wrists. His hands were removed from Saerans thighs and were now being held in the air. Yoosung was left on his knees, dick in mouth, and hands held high above his head. The two had shifted off the mattress by now, which was causing his knees to ache from the hard ground. Saeran held Yoosung in place by his wrists as his hips began to move. Yoosung gagged harshly as Saeran hit the back of his throat. Saeran paid no mind to Yoosungs sounds of displeasure as he began a study pace. Yoosung did his best to continue sucking, but it was hard with his gag reflex being triggered and his air being cut off sporadically. He tried to whine loudly, tell him to stop, that he can’t do this! It fell on deaf ears and Yoosung gave up on trying to do a good job. By now Saeran was taking full control and all Yoosung could do was fight his instinct to bite down as he used his mouth.

Saeran released his wrists. Yoosung temporarily felt relieved until he felt fingers tangle in his hair once again. Saeran bent forward and shoved Yoosung’s head forward as he gave out a shuddering moan. Yoosung felt Saeran twitching inside his mouth as something warm went down his throat. Yoosung was sure that if Saerans cock wasn’t blocking anything, he would’ve vomited. After what seemed for too long, Saeran finally released Yoosung's head and stepped back. Yoosung fell backward onto the mattress, coughing violently. He curled onto his side and tried to prop himself up on his elbow as he drooled heavily through his hacking. When he finally caught his breath he looked up to see Saeran buttoning up his pants. He already had his jacket back on and leaning off one shoulder, his trademark look.

“That was horrible, you really need to work on how to properly use your mouth.” Saeran insulted. Yoosung looked back down at the mattress, ashamed. He kept his mouth shut.

“Not going to say anything?”

Saeran watched Yoosung, expecting the usual whine or sniffling that came from the boy whenever he was pushed too hard, but he just stared down at the mattress with a blank expression. Saeran stared and couldn’t help but feel annoyed at the lack of response. Yoosung knew he was risking punishment, but he felt too numb to even move. Surprisingly he wasn’t met with anything, instead Saeran turned on his heel and walked away. He exited the cell, closing it behind him again.

“It was horrible, but good, obedient pets get treats, maybe next time you’ll get something you’ll like.” Saeran purred as the lock clicked shut again.

Yoosung heard his steps go up the stairs once again and the heavy door shut behind him. It was only then that Yoosung fully collapsed onto the bed, and the sobs wracked his frail body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I do have a lot more planned for this, I’m excited about it so far. Critique on how to write better is appreciated!


	2. Fascination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeran didn’t realize just how much he had enjoyed the incident. He wants more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning:  
> -mentions of abuse  
> -dark fantasies  
> -masturbation

It had been days since the incident. Numbers, letters and symbols overwhelmed the monitor Saeran was working on. Usually his fingers were fast to work, making little to no mistakes, but lately his mind had been elsewhere. He let out a frustrated sigh and pushed against the desk, making his chair slide back. He slid down into a lazy position, slightly slouched and resting his chin on his hand and his elbow on the armchair. His legs stretched out in front of him as he stared at his work. He hadn’t been able to focus much ever since his visit with Yoosung. He couldn’t get the image out of his head of the blonde boy at his mercy. The way he held onto his clothing, when his head moved, seeing his lips wrapped around his cock…

He sat back up and tried to shake the image out of his head, but only more came in. The more he thought about it, the more those images had turned into fantasies. When he decided to pull that stunt, this was the last thing he expected to happen.

_ Am I growing fond of him? _

Saeran paused again.

_ No…not a weak lamb like him. _

He laughed and swiveled the chair around. He wasn’t doing much of anything anyway, so he figured it was time for a break. Saeran became lost in thought again. He really enjoyed seeing Yoosung so helpless, it made him feel powerful, strong. The puppy dog eyes he gave when he didn’t want to do something was so cute, it only made Saeran want to push him further. Despite all of that, he had kept true to his word and decided to give Yoosung a small reward. Lately Saeran had been bringing him food,  _ actual _ food. He would bring the tray in and sit down across from Yoosung as he watched him practically inhale the meals. It still wasn’t anything huge, he didn’t want Yoosung to gain all of his strength back, but it was definitely enough where he could start to see color in his cheeks again. Despite his appearance looking livelier, Yoosungs eyes were anything but. Whenever he looked at Saeran, his deep purples seemed to be glossed over and void of life. Saeran paid no mind to it, he recognized that look. He used to see it very often in the mirror, but not for a very long time. Now, he was stronger. He was better.

Saeran hadn’t been violent with him since, not that he really had any reason to. He still enjoyed seeing the marks he had left on the boy, the bruises on his face were finally starting to fade. It was in that awkward stage of healing where it was a mixture of yellows, purples, and reds, and overall just looked nasty. But to Saeran they looked wonderful, it made Yoosung endearing to him. He loved that he was strong enough to reduce someone to this, he was practically drunk with power. His mind wandered back to when he had Yoosung’s wrists in his hands and thrusting into his mouth. The buildup of Yoosung’s mouth working on him had worked Saeran up enough where he had little restraint on the poor lad. He could still remember how Yoosung’s throat vibrated with his cries. When he finally released…Jesus. Saeran couldn’t remember the last time he orgasmed like that. He remembered his fingers tangled in blonde locks, bent forward and shuddering as he was hit was a wave of euphoria. His knees almost gave out, which luckily they didn’t. He wanted to stay inside Yoosung’s throat longer but felt the muscles of his mouth strain and contort around him. It felt amazing, but he knew that was a sign Yoosung was at his limit. It was only then that he pulled back and let the boy rest. 

Saeran came back to reality when he realized he was palming his own groin. Sure enough, he was pitching a tent right there in front of himself. He didn’t move his hand away, but instead kept rubbing himself through his pants. He let his head fall back and look up at the ceiling. Yoosung…that boy was doing things to him he wasn’t expecting. He suddenly wanted to punish him for it, to grab him and bend him and break him. He wanted to see Yoosung  _ beg _ for him to be gentle.

Saeran imagined what it would be like, to take Yoosung as his. Yoosung had been oddly compliant as of late, making Saeran wonder if he would even put up a fight. It would be boring if not, but intriguing.

Saeran cursed and undid his pants quickly. His boner was beginning to get painful in his briefs. It sprung out eagerly when it was freed and already had a bead of precum glistening off the tip. Saeran closed his eyes and started to pump himself. His chest rose and fell with each breath, which was becoming heavier. He couldn’t help but twitch his hips up into his hand as his mind traveled. Yoosung would be underneath him, either moaning like a whore or screaming for him to stop. Either way, it was incredibly arousing for Saeran. The fantasies started rolling in and Saeran could practically feel Yoosungs skin under his touch. He wanted to bend Yoosung over and slide his hands up his back. He would remove the other boys shirt, and hear him whimper from fear. He wanted to mark that pretty neck of his, more so than he already has with his beatings. This time, he wanted to mark it with his teeth. He wanted to bite down into the soft flesh and hear Yoosung scream as Saeran held him down. He wouldn’t let go until he wanted to, and even then he would only leave more marks on his neck and back. He would grind his own excitement against Yoosungs ass, sliding in between his-

“SHIT.” Saeran gasped as he came. He was so enchanted by his own imagination that he hadn’t even noticed himself reaching the edge. Saeran continued to pump himself through the climax, shuddering and moaning all the way through it. He gasped and moaned as he rode through the waves of pleasure that made him feel like he was going to melt into his chair. His hips rolled up into his hand, eventually slowing down in pace.

By the time he finished he was a panting sweating mess. He looked down at his hand, covered in his own cum. He hadn’t meant to make a mess, but he really did get too caught up in his fantasy. This was going to be annoying to clean.

_ Maybe I’ll visit him again. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapters a bit shorter, but I still had a lot of fun writing it


	3. Bitter Reward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content warning:  
> -abuse  
> -gaslighting  
> -nonconsensual kissing  
> -nonconsensual sexual acts  
> -forced orgasm  
> -humiliation  
> -Saeran being nasty

“Knock knock”

Saeran’s voice was dripping with sarcasm, and Yoosung wasn’t particularly fond of it. Saeran made his way down the stairs and across the dirty floor once again to Yoosungs imprisonment.

“Against the wall.”

Yoosung obeyed quickly. Since he had started to gain energy back, Saeran wasn’t taking any chances of escape. Yoosung scrambled to his feet and went to press his back against the opposite wall. Saeran’s key tinked against metal and the lock clicked open. He swung open the barred door and shut it after him, locking it and pocketing the key. The blonde was getting used to this routine, and slowly but surely his brain fog was beginning to clear up with his new diet. He started to pay attention, noticing Saeran always placed the key into his left pocket. Yoosung tried not to stare, he didn’t want to give himself away. Who knows what Saeran would do with his temper if he found out Yoosung was even considering making an escape.

Ever since he had been forced to suck off Saeran, the 21-year-old always felt a sense of dread during Saerans visits, even more than before. His throat had felt sore for what felt like weeks, but Yoosung knew realistically it was probably only around a day or two. When Yoosung would try and sleep he often found himself covering his neck protectively. His hands seemed to always find that position of being folded over each other and placed on his Adam’s apple.

As much as he would love to be sleeping right now, he had to keep himself against the wall until Saeran said otherwise. He stood there obediently and averted his eyes as Saeran approached. He still felt pathetic at how small and intimidated he felt when around the other man, especially since they were nearly the exact same height. Physically Saeran didn’t look like too much to handle, but of course Yoosung never really put up with a fight. After all, he had agreed to stay for the safety of his friends.

“Sit.” Saeran commanded. Yoosung complied and slid down to the floor. Saeran lowered himself and balanced himself steadily as he sat on his heels. “Good boy, you’ve been so good. Have you been liking your treats?”

Yoosung nodded. He hated the wording, but he truthfully was grateful for the food.

“Good, good…” Saeran trailed off. Yoosung risked glancing at him. His captor had a hand on his chin as he thought. He turned his attention back to him and Yoosung lowered his eyes again.

“Aw come on, don’t be like that.” Saeran took hold of Yoosungs face and turned his head to face him. Yoosung forced himself to keep his eyes locked with Saeran. He tried to never disobey Saeran, so he suppressed the screaming urge in him to look away. Saeran’s cheeks pushed up as he smiled, causing him to narrow his eyes. Yoosung gulped loudly. Those were the eyes of a predator, and Yoosung very much felt like the shivering prey about to get torn apart. Saeran truly terrified him.

“There, much better.” The white haired man tousled Yoosungs hair, which in any other scenario would be considered endearing. However it only made Yoosung feel belittled. “I like it best when you show your pretty eyes, you’re too easy to read.”

Yoosung blinked.

_ Did he just call my eyes pretty? _

“Th..thank you.” He managed to say in a hoarse voice. Saeran tsked.

“You sound awful too. Have you been unhappy down here?”

Now Yoosung was willing to look him in the eyes. He studied them, trying to read the meaning behind Saerans question. He wasn’t sure if this was him being baited into answering only to be punished, or if he wanted him to say he was happy.

“..um…”

“You can tell me the truth.” Saeran said in a soft voice, almost caring.

“..um, I…I guess not?”

Yoosung braced for some kind of impact, but none came. Instead Saeran tenderly ran a hand down his cheek. His touch made Yoosung flinch.

“You poor thing, I know you can’t help being so weak. Some are destined to be strong, while others are destined to be overpowered by the strong. It’s a cruel fate really.”

Yoosung tried to follow Saerans words. He hadn’t heard any form of kind words since before his capture, and now he was getting them with a side of insults. His eyebrows furrowed together in distress at the conflicting emotions trying to overlap each other.

There was that puppy dog look that Saeran was starting to love so much. The worry was so apparent on Yoosungs innocent-looking face. It made Saeran just want to eat him up. It was exactly the look he was trying to pry out with his words. He knew Yoosung was deprived of affection, and he wanted to take advantage of that.

“You know, you’ve been so good lately, I’ve been thinking that you deserve a little something.”

His words caused something to light up in Yoosung’s dull eyes. Yoosung hadn’t been expecting that, but it gave a spark of hope. He wondered if we would finally be allowed to see the sun for a few minutes, it almost brought a smile of relief just thinking about how it would feel. He managed to hold it back as his eyes flicked back and forth on Saerans eyes.

“What...is it?” He tentatively asked.

“I’m glad you asked!” Saeran responded in an excited tone, much too loud and breaking the peaceful tone of the conversation. It made Yoosung jolt. Saeran laughed again. His laugh slowed to small giggles as he looked back at Yoosung with a relaxed expression. Yoosung shifted uncomfortably at the silence that followed. Saeran’s eyes were fixed on him. Saeran slid his hand down Yoosungs cheek, sneaking it around the side of his neck and cupping the back of it. Goosebumps raised on his skin at how gentle the touch was. He hated to admit it, but his neck was oddly sensitive. He had often daydreamed about his future girlfriend peppering kisses up and down it, maybe even leaving a few hickies to claim him as hers. A few of those daydreams had been with MC, in fact he had daydreamed about her a lot. Yoosung wanted to be with her, now even more than ever before.

He started to slip into his thoughts, a dreamy look starting to fill his eyes. Saeran knew he was thinking about something else and suspected it was from how gentle he was touching him, although he knew it was highly unlikely that Yoosung was thinking about him. He didn’t like that, he wanted Yoosung to belong to him, to only think about him. The hand on the back of Yoosungs neck tightened and brought him forward.

Yoosungs eyes widened in shock as Saeran’s lips practically crashed over his. This was definitely more than enough to snap him back to reality. His hands raised to instinctively push him away but froze in the air. When it came to fight our flight, Yoosung would freeze up. He never was one to fight back or even run to safety, it had gotten him in trouble quite a few times already. Saeran pulled back for a breath before taking advantage of Yoosungs confusion and kissing him again, deeper. Saeran lowered his knees to the ground to kneel but raised his body, trapping Yoosung even further. It made him have to crane his neck back as Saeran’s tongue violated his mouth. Yoosung shakily gripped Saerans shirt, unsure of what to do. His eyes were so wide it was straining them, but he didn’t even notice. Of all the things to happen he was least expecting this. It felt wrong, everything about this felt so wrong. Something dark and heavy started to weigh down in the pit of his stomach. Saeran finally pulled back again and looked down at him through half lidded eyes and a light red tinting his cheeks. His face was overshadowed by the light behind them and effectively scared Yoosung.

“Don’t cry little flower.” Saeran said as he wiped a thumb across Yoosungs cheek, it was only then that Yoosung realized he had started crying. Saeran let go of his neck and dropped his hand back to himself.

“Do you like that?”

“No.”

Yoosung hadn’t even meant to speak out, his thoughts were swirling and trying to connect the pieces in his head. He should have realized that he shouldn’t be honest, but it was too late to take it back. He felt the blow before he could register how fast Saeran moved. Yoosung cried out and raised his arms to protect his face from any more punches. It did no good. Saeran took a handful of blonde locks and stood up. He dragged him to the middle of the room with Yoosung holding his wrist tightly and kicking his feet as he frantically blubbered apologies, but his words fell on deaf ears. Saeran swung his arm forward and threw him to the ground again. Yoosung landed painfully on his hands and knees. He tried to curl up protectively, but Saeran sent a solid kick to the ribs that caused Yoosung to fall on his side and slide a short distance. He thankfully didn’t hear anything crack, but it didn’t change the fact that a shoe to his side hurt like hell. He had started sobbing at this point, curled up feebly and holding his side as pain shot through the side of his body. Saeran knelt down again and roughly pushed Yoosung to lay on his back.

“Shut up, crying won’t get you out of anything, you should know this by now.” Saeran stepped one leg over Yoosung and lowered himself to straddle his stomach. “Jesus, you’re pathetic. Was that your first kiss? It shows. You didn’t even kiss me back. That would hurt a girl's feelings, you’re so heartless.” He bent over, uncomfortably close. “You should be grateful I put up with you. No one else would be able to, who would want something so disgusting? I’m basically doing charity work.” He growled as Yoosungs hands flew up to cover his own tear-streaked face. The protection was short lived as Saeran’s hands wrapped around his wrists and slammed them to the ground and effectively pinning them slightly higher than Yoosungs head.

“You’re pathetic, say it.” 

“What?” Yoosung practically hiccuped the word.

“Say you’re pathetic, it’s only fair to be honest with yourself.”

“But-“

“SAY IT.”

“…I..I’m pathetic.”

“Again.”

“I’m pathetic.”

“Again.”

Yoosung’s chest convulsed as the emotions overwhelmed him.

“I’m pathetic!!” He cried out. “I’m pathetic, I’m pathetic, I’m sorry, I..I can’t help it. Please. I’m sorry, I’m pathetic.” He turned his head away shamefully as he cried. Truthfully, he’d always felt this way. He could never make friends easily, not unless they were behind a computer screen. His friends in the RFA were the closest ones he’s ever had, but he would have intrusive thoughts that he didn’t deserve them. He felt like a child compared to them, and was often reminded when they continuously scolded him for playing games or teased for things he didn’t know. He knew it was lighthearted and the members had the best intentions, but he couldn’t help but feel inferior. They all seemed to have the their lives put together while he still had no plans for his future. He felt pathetic. Now that he was forced to say it out loud, the realization hit him like a brick.

Saeran watched with glee as Yoosungs shoulders shook. He was trying to hold in his cries again, but the tears were still flowing.

“Shhh…sh sh shh..” Saeran whispered and slowly let go of his wrists. Yoosung’s arms stayed limp on the ground as Saeran tilted Yoosungs face up again.

“I forgive you.” He pecked a kiss on Yoosungs forehead. “My little sheep, you just need someone to take care of you.” At this he saw alarm flash across Yoosungs face, the corners of Saerans mouth twitched up. “That’s right, did you forget? I was monitoring your little chats, I know what you want. You want someone to take care of you, to coddle you and never let you go.” He trailed a finger down Yoosung’s cheek. “I know a lot more about you than you realize.”

Yoosung closed his eyes, the cries slowly petering off to shaky breathing. He was right. Yoosung wanted that, he wanted it so badly. But not like this, not ever like this. Saeran harshly patted his cheek, making Yoosung flinch.

“Like I said, I forgive you. You were even so nice to apologize, I think you deserve something for that.”

Yoosung felt Saeran swing his leg back over and get off of him. He opened his eyes again to see what was happening and saw Saeran still kneeling beside him. He gave Yoosung a sly smile before his hand slid up his thigh. Yoosung tensed you immediately.

_ No no no no please not this again please- _

His thoughts were cut off when Saeran roughly handled his groin. Yoosung struggled to sit up.

“Wait, don’t-“ he was cut off as Saeran pressed his forearm against Yoosung's chest and shoved him back down. He kept it there to hold him still against the ground.

“Don’t fight it, I know you haven’t touched yourself since I took you in.”

“That’s not …hnng!”

Saeran slowly rubbed Yoosungs groin over his clothes, making Yoosung squirm. Yoosung moved his hands to hold onto the forearm holding him down but didn’t try to move it away, as much as he wanted to. Saeran was definitely right, he hadn’t touched himself at all. How could he? The stress of his environment would bury anyone’s libido. Since he hadn’t done so, he found himself to be more sensitive than he was used to. His legs turned inward and knees pressed together. He held in a whimper as Saeran pushed Yoosung’s shirt up before taking a hold of the hem of his pants.

“Look at you, you’re already getting excited.”

Yoosung lifted his head to peek down, and saw that indeed a bulge was beginning to form. He dropped his head back down, not wanting to see anything else. He bit his lip hard as he felt his pants get yanked down and cool air hit his hips and dick. Yoosung felt his face quickly burn up to an uncomfortable temperature. Never before had he felt so embarrassed. When he was forced to please Saeran, he was at least able to keep his clothes on. Now he was being stripped and forced into a vulnerable state. Saeran’s fingers traced up the underside of his shaft and Yoosung’s hands gripped tighter on his arm. Saeran kept his gaze on Yoosungs face as he wrapped his hand around Yoosungs member and started to slowly pump. Yoosung bit his lip harder and his back arched as he attempted to move his hips back and away from any touch. Of course, he couldn’t exactly do that successfully as he was only able to press his tailbone to the floor.

“Please..”

“Please what? Did you want more?”

Saeran’s hand sped up and shamefully made a gasp escape Yoosungs lips. He slammed a hand down to the ground as he fought his body's responses. Saeran watched as this conflict showed bright as day not only in Yoosung's movements, but his face as well. He had his eyes focused on the ceiling as his face contorted from one expression to another. The tears had dried but Saeran could see the salty trails. His cheek was red and slightly swollen from Saeran’s hit earlier, and he knew it was still stinging. He’d taken a hits like that before, so he knew how it felt. He loved seeing Yoosung suffer from it, and he loved seeing Yoosung suffer from this. Who knew pleasuring someone could break them in, if he’d known about it he would’ve done so much earlier. His hand sped up and forced a groan out of Yoosung. His hips twitched up, making his face burn even hotter.

“See? I knew you’d like this.” Saeran practically cooed. Yoosung tried to ignore him as he felt a familiar knot begin to form in his abdomen. Saeran released him briefly and brought the hand to his face. Yoosung wasn’t watching, but he heard Saeran spit and soon his now wet hand was pumping him even faster than before.

“F-fuck-“ Yoosung cursed and writhed on the ground like a worm trapped in the sun. He lifted his head and knocked it against the ground repeatedly, desperately trying to feel anything else but this. The arm that was pressing down on his chest lifted and Yoosung felt a hand clasp over his mouth. Saeran held his head still against the ground and Yoosung felt himself reach the tipping point. He fought it, prolonging it, before he finally was forced to release.

Saeran watched Yoosung’s eyes roll back and body squirm as his seed shot out in spurts and adorned his pale stomach. Yoosung’s knees raised into the air as the orgasm rocked his body. His moans were muffled by the hard grip over his mouth, but were still surprisingly loud and high in pitch. He violently shuddered on the ground as endorphins flooded his mind. Pent up anger and frustration seemed to melt away.

Once the initial release was through, Yoosung was left twitching on the ground. Saeran released his mouth and watched it slack open. He smiled and bent down to kiss the corner briefly.

“Didn’t that feel good?”

Yoosung didn’t answer. Saeran narrowed his eyes.

“ _ Didn’t that feel good?”  _ He repeated for Yoosung to hear the small warning in his tone.

“…yes.”

“Say it.”

“…it felt good.”

Yoosung hated it, but he knew it’s what Saeran wanted to hear. Sure enough, Saeran smiled.

“See? I knew it would, you should have more faith in me.” His hand wiped across Yoosungs stomach. It contracted briefly at the touch but otherwise Yoosung didn’t move to stop him. He was much too tired to. Saeran brought the hand up and wiped it across Yoosungs cheek. Yoosung’s eyes widened and rage sparked briefly while he felt his own cum smear across his face. Luckily it didn’t show and Saeran didn’t catch onto it. He instead laughed.

“What, are you embarrassed? No need to be, I already know you’re pitiful, you don’t need to be embarrassed around me.” He bent over to his ear. His breath tickled as he spoke.

“I’m the only one who will accept you as you are, all you have is me.”

He stayed still and silent to let that sink in before sitting up again. The dramatic pause worked, because now Yoosung was staring up at him with a resigned expression on his face. Oh how Saeran loved that look of complete and utter submission. He knew Yoosung was one step closer to being completely his.

Saeran wiped the rest of the semen from his hand onto Yoosung’s shirt before pushing himself back up to his feet.

“Remember, good pets get treats, so keep it up.” He stared down at Yoosung with a sly smile, soaking in the sight at his feet. Yoosung averted his eyes and became very aware that he was still exposed. He shifted his weight to reach down and pull up his pants again and smooth out his shirt. Saeran didn’t do anything to stop him, he just watched. He sat up again and hugged his knees to his chest. Saeran nugged his side with his foot, where he had kicked it earlier. Yoosung gritted his teeth and ignored the dull pain. He glanced up at Saeran to see what he wanted his attention for.

“What do you say when you get something nice?”

Yoosung blinked. Saeran sighed and shifted his weight to lean on one side, hip jutting out. 

“Did you mother not teach you manners? Speak boy.”

“Oh…um…thank you.” Yoosung replied quietly. Saeran sighed, obviously not very happy with his response.

“You sound so dull, it’s boring. You should work on that.”

Yoosung only could nod in response. Saeran rolled his eyes and bent down. He smacked Yoosung upside the head, making him yelp and cover his head.

“Seriously, work on it. I’ll be back, but don’t forget what I said.” He said before walking away. Yoosung twisted his torso to look at Saeran walk out of the cell and shut the door behind him. He turned to Yoosung again.

“Remember what I said.”

He gave Yoosung a look before clicking the lock shut once again and made his way back up the stairs. Yoosung wasn’t sure what exactly Saeran wanted him to remember, he had said a lot of things. However, there was one thought that was circling his mind. The door to the basement clicked closed and Yoosung was left alone again, wiping his face with his shirt. Saeran’s words mockingly echoing in his mind.

  
  


_ I’m the only one who will accept you, _

_ all you have is me. _

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry, this entire fic is going to be fetish fuel :|


	4. Awakened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content warning:  
> -hunger  
> -masturbation  
> -mentions of abuse  
> -heavy gaslighting
> 
> This chapter is a little lighter on the nsfw but don’t worry, future chapters will make up for it.

Yoosung had since given up on trying to salvage his shirt. As much as he hated being shirtless, he hated it even more that his shirt was soiled. It wasn’t even that bad, his cum only stained where Saeran had wiped it off from his hand, and where Yoosung had used it to clear the cum off his face. Even still, it was enough to make Yoosung cringe when he felt the stains lightly scrape his skin. The cleanliness that his mother had nailed into him was definitely overpowering any need of a dirty shirt. Unfortunately, this led to some shivering naps.

Yoosung laid on his side with his head resting on his folded arm. The hit he took to his face had left a fairly sizable bruise, and even made his lower eyelid slightly swell up. He stared blankly at the steps on the staircase that he was beginning to memorize each time he counted all 16 of them. It had been a while since Saeran had left, and he was beginning to grow hungry. He always felt conflicted whenever his hunger flared up. At times like that he’d begin to hope for Saeran. Of course it was the food Saeran brought that Yoosung would look forward to, but the only times he’d ever get to eat where with his captor there to sit and watch. At first he had trouble eating, he was always used to eating by himself. It was rather jarring to go from solo meals to someone sitting across from him and staring as he tried to keep his swallows inaudible. Since the only times he ate were with Saeran, his subconscious couldn’t help but start to make that connection and begin to look forward to seeing him. With food of course.

Yoosung scrunched his nose up as he felt a portion of his stomach tighten up, before slowly loosening and letting out a pitiful gurgle. Although it was unpleasant, the fact his stomach was growling was a good sign he wasn’t reaching the starving point where his body functions started to slow down. He shivered, remembering how long he had been left alone to get to that point before Saeran started to feed him again. Truthfully at the time he had thought he was going to die, and that’s what scared him the most.

His hand slid over his waist to reach his stomach to press the palm against it. Another gurgle emanated from his stomach and Saeran appeared in his head again. Yoosung grimaced and rolled over to face the wall. He moved his other hand to put pressure against his stomach again, hoping to quell some of the pain. He wanted to think of something else when he got hungry,  _ anyone _ else, but how could he when Saeran was the only other person he’s seen for Lord knows how long? If only he could see the world again.

He knew that if he was freed right now, he would have a completely different outlook on life. He’d do the things he’s said he’d do for years but always put off. He’d go out and make even more friends, talk to girls, maybe be working for Jumin. He wondered how his friends in the RFA were doing. He furrowed his eyebrows together as he realized something unsettling. As he tried to think of his friends, the images of their faces were murky at best. He clenched the hand he had resting on his stomach into a fist.

_ How long has it been since I’ve been here? _

He tried to focus on the defining features of the others to spark a better memory, but it barely helped. Yoosung pursed his lips together in distress at this revelation.

He at least wanted to see a MC in person just once, but now he would never get that chance. Yoosung had always gotten excited when he saw her log online. She sometimes called him cute, and he would cover his mouth as his heart thumped against his ribs. All while he laid in his own bed with the phone.

_ What would life be like right now if I was home? _

Yoosung pondered as he played with a loose thread on the mattress. He could be playing LOLOL, or visiting Seven, or even showering. He missed showers. Maybe he would even have a girlfriend. The finger picking at the thread stilled at the thought. He could have shared his first kiss with her instead of Saeran. Maybe he’d kiss her often. Yoosung would invite her over for movie nights and cook for the both of them, and end the night with cuddles and a movie. The thought made something warm up in his heart, and couldn’t help but to lightly smile. What he would give to be curled up with a girl and sharing that intimate moment together. Yoosung would play with her hair and kiss her cheek, she would smile and kiss him back, he’d then start a competition of who could kiss the other the most, and so on. He craved that intimacy, now more than ever.

A thought occurred to him. If he had this girlfriend he was dreaming up, how serious would they be right now? Yoosung knew he would jump into the relationship and give his everything for the girl he loved, but wondered if she would too. He’d been told many times to take things slow when it came to dating someone, but right now he couldn’t care less. He just wanted someone,  _ needed _ someone to hold him and care for him as he would for them. If things were that serious…

_ then maybe we’d be living together. _

He smiled more and felt a pleasant warmth on his cheeks. Did he dare think about it? Thoughts began to swarm his head about the intimacy he’d have to share with his girlfriend in order to live together. Not even two seconds into this thought did he feel something stir inside him. He bit his lip, understanding exactly what he was feeling.

Yoosung was horny.

It was the first time in a while that he’d felt like this, and frankly it surprised him. Yoosung thought that since he was forced to go through something sexual, he’d be lacking sex drive even more. However, Saeran was right before, it had been a long time since he touched himself. Having finally been stimulated after such a long period of pure suffering seemed to wake up that part of himself again. The hand on his stomach twitched, thinking about moving lower. Yoosung bit into his lip harder as he thought. He wasn’t sure if this was okay for someone to feel in a situation like this, or if he was abnormal. Questions about the morality of jerking off in the cell (where he’d been violated more than once) circled his mind. In a mix of those thoughts were more fantasies of the girlfriend he hopes he would’ve been with. His elbow slowly straightened out, in turn making his hand travel lower. His fingers dipped into his pants but stopped at the waistband of his boxers. He still had his head resting on his arm for cushion while staring blankly at the wall as his imagination ran wild.

After too long of a time debating, Yoosung couldn’t take it anymore. His erection was pressing painfully hard against the restricting fabric. He used one hand to undo his pants so he could push them down. His boxers were quick to follow and Yoosung let out a sigh of relief at the freedom. He flatted his hand and began to rub up and down his manhood, pressing it against himself. Yoosung’s eyelashes fluttered at the stimulus and his brain exploded with fantasies of finally being with a girl. He curled his hand around his shaft and began to pump while unconsciously rolling his hips. 

When it came to sex, he wanted to take his time, especially the first time together. He wanted to slowly strip her of clothing piece by piece. He would worship her body and take in every detail. Soaking in every second as he would kiss up her torso to her neck. There he’d nibble on the sensitive skin and with much less speed begin to travel back down. On the way down he’d nip at her collarbone, then lightly leave marks on her breasts. His tongue would gently explore her nipples and experiment different movements. He’d pay attention to her breathing. If it got uneven, he’d know he was doing it right.

This was only a small portion of what he wanted to do. His mind flicked from one imagery to another. For a brief moment his mind switched to Saeran when he spat on his hand before jerking him off. Yoosung couldn’t deny it, having it wet felt so much better. He hadn’t ever tried it beforehand, so it was completely new to him. He shook Saeran from his mind before raising his hand to spit on it. He slightly grimaced, he didn’t find spitting to be very enjoyable, to him it was even a little gross. Yoosung changed his thoughts back to something much more pleasant as he took a hold of his dick again. Once again, it felt really good. He closed his eyes and his lips parted as his own breathing started to grow more excited.

“ah…ha…ha…” moans escaped him. He hated to admit it from embarrassment, but Yoosung was vocal. He couldn’t help it, and thanks to that he could never have fun if someone else was home. One thing he did know about his new living space was that it was soundproof. Saeran was the one who told him that, to let him know that if he ever decided to scream for help it would be useless. Yoosung never planned on it anyway, he feared breaking the deal to stay and risking the safety of the RFA. Thanks to the soundproofed area, he didn’t have to worry about being too loud. He still attempted to keep his voice to a minimum, but it was hard. He was still sensitive from the pent up sexual frustration being suppressed. Until now of course.

Yoosung’s hips grew from lazy rolls to little jolts forward into his hand. He removed the arm underneath his head to stretch out and press his palm against the cool cement of the wall. He curled his body inward as his hand sped up. He was close, his moans were a testament to that.

“Ah…ha…nnm…”

“Well this is unexpected.”

Yoosung whipped his head around to look at Saeran, leaning forward on the bars and watching him. He had his cheek resting in his hand and one leg lazily bent as he put all of his weight on the other. He had a sly grin on his face.

“Did you miss me that much?”

Yoosung quickly yanked his pants back up. His face was once again burning up to an uncomfortable temperature.

“No, it’s not like that, I-“

“Oh? You hurt my feelings, you don’t like seeing me?”

Yoosung stared at him.  _ Was this guy serious? _ He couldn’t tell, the longer he stayed with Saeran, the harder it was to read him, and right now he wanted to get out of the situation before it escalated. He sat up and ran his hand through his hair while avoiding eye contact.

“I was just…you know…”

“Jerking off in a place that you’re being kept in against your will?” Saeran offered his input. Yoosung grimaced, making Saeran grin even wider. “You’re an odd one, kind of a freak really.”

“F..freak?”

“Yeah I guess I put it lightly. You’re 100% a bonified freak.”

Yoosung winced at the harsh words.

“Why do you say things like that…” he mumbled. This caused Saeran to raise an eyebrow.

“Getting cocky are we? You know you’re not in any place to ask questions.” He shifted his weight onto his other leg as he spoke. “Unless you’re starting to like getting punished.”

Yoosung couldn’t hide the obvious disagreement on his face. Of course he didn’t like getting beat, he was getting so jumpier and easily startled because of it. Saeran clicked his tongue.

“Do you want to be punished?”

“No!” Yoosung was quick to respond with alarm in his voice. Saeran laughed and clicked the lock open. Yoosung was on the other side of the room already. He had moved the mattress there so he didn’t have to get up every time Saeran visited. As the door swung back closed he couldn’t help but finally notice with dismay that Saeran hadn’t brought him any food.

“Aw come on, don’t look at me like that. You look like an abused pup.” Saeran commented harshly as he approached him. “Get up.”

Yoosung obeyed and struggled to his feet. He stood up straight in front of Saeran as he had been expected to do. Saeran raised a hand, and Yoosung braced for impact.

“Relax, I’m not going to hurt you for no reason, I’m not a monster.” Saeran said as he gently caressed his cheek. Yoosung pursed his lips to keep any snide remarks back. He’d been hurt for no reason many times before already, he had times where he was asleep but woken up to Saeran storming in and beating the hell out of him. He knew it was usually from a bad day at work and needed to get stress relief, but fuck did it suck. Although, it had been a while since something like that happened. Now Saeran ran his hand down Yoosungs cheek to his chest and lightly pushed him against the wall.

“Why aren’t you wearing your shirt? You seem like a whore right now.”

“It’s…it’s just dirty.”

“Is that what you’re going to excuse it as?”

“But it really is.”

Yoosung quickly shut his mouth when he saw Saeran look at him darkly. Right. No talking back.

“Well, it’s not the only dirty thing here.” Saeran held Yoosungs face in his hands, making him grimace in pain as he touched the bruise without restraint. Saeran either didn’t notice Yoosungs discomfort or didn’t care.

“You sure were enjoying yourself there. Were you thinking of me? Did I make you feel that good?” There was a playful tease in his voice. Yoosung didn’t answer, not wanting to repeat the same mistake that had left a bruise in the first place. Saeran cocked his head to the side and his expression changed to something …softer. He let go of Yoosungs face and took his hands instead.

“Listen…I came here to…apologize.”

Well that was unexpected. It grabbed Yoosungs attention right quick, exactly the reaction Saeran was going for. He raised Yoosungs pale hands to his lips and kissed his knuckles gently.

“You know I hate hurting you, but I don’t mean it. I just get carried away, you know?”

“Uh…”

“Sh, you don’t have to answer. I just wanted to get that off my chest.” He smiled convincingly and placed Yoosungs hand on his cheek. Saeran closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. He almost had a look of innocence to him, and it was confusing the hell out of his poor prisoner. Despite the confusion he was beginning to feel something different. The affection-starved boy could only look as Saeran now began to nuzzle into his hand. He cracked open his eyes to look at Yoosung through half lidded eyes, who was staring at him in bafflement.

_ Is this a trap? Does he want me to let my guard down? Is he making fun of me? _

Yoosung groaned and pressed a free hand to his forehead. This was all too confusing, his emotions were all over the place and he couldn’t keep track of just one. Saeran let go of his hand and stepped back to look him up and down.

“You know? I thought you’d be cuter shirtless, but it’s kind of pitiful.”

All good feelings Yoosung was feeling came crashing back down as he folded his arms protectively.

“Sorry…”

Saeran sighed. “It can’t be helped. If you keep staying good maybe I’ll let you clean up a bit.” 

Yoosung couldn’t help but perk up at this. The thought of being under warm water, scrubbing off all the dirt and grime and cleaning himself of everything dirty, it was enough to make him hopeful. He yelped in surprise as Saeran flick his nose.

“Don’t get too excited though, you still need to be good for me, okay?”

Yoosung nodded enthusiastically. Anything. He'd do anything to stay on his good side, at least long enough to get that shower. Saeran looked satisfied before turning on his heel and lazily waved his hand as he walked out again.

“I just wanted to see you again, but I can’t stay long. Duty calls.”

Once again the barred door shut behind him and locked up. He was about to turn to leave when Yoosung let out a noise, building up the courage to say something. Saeran paused and waited for him to speak.

“Uhm…thank you.”

“For what?”

“For…apologizing.” He fidgeted nervously. Yoosung usually tried not to speak out, but he wanted Saeran to know he was at least grateful for this.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Yoosung raised his head again with a confused look, and it seemed Saeran was sharing the same look.

“You…said sorry.”

“Why?”

Yoosung shifted his footing before pointing to his own face.

“Oh, for hitting you? No, you were being rude so I only did what I had to do.” And with that he turned and made his way back up the stairs, leaving Yoosung confused. He thought he heard Saeran apologize earlier.

_ I’m not imagining it, right? _

When the door closed again he sank back down to the mattress. Yoosung ran his fingers through his hair as he began to question his own sanity.

_ …right? _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll be honest, comments help motivate me to write more. Let me know your thoughts on this so far!


	5. The Bath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content warning:  
> -mentions of family loss  
> -abuse  
> -assault  
> -choking
> 
> No sexual content yet, but look forward to the next chapter for a wild time. I’ll add a brief summary at the end of the chapter.

_ Finally, finally, finally!! _

Yoosung was currently standing in a bathroom as he watched Saeran test the water of the bath. It was a surprisingly tasteful bathroom, very pretty. The shelves on the baby blue walls held medicines and an assortment of flowers in vases. The cool, white tile underneath his feet didn't have a speck of dirt in them. (Well, until Yoosung walked in that is.) The bathtub was jointed with a shower with the removable nozzle hanging overhead. Despite the pretty view, Yoosung couldn’t help but shift around in slight discomfort. When Saeran had brought him to the bathroom, he immediately stripped down his pants and boxers. Yoosung wasn’t prepared for that and squeaked in surprise. His cheeks flushed from embarrassment when Saeran laughed. Yoosung felt a sharp sting on his ass as Saeran gave it a playful smack before walking past him to the tub. Yoosung stepped out of his pants and kicked them aside. He was shivering, not so much from the cold but from the discomfort of being the only nude man in the bathroom with another.

The boy raised his hand to itch his cheek and tugged his other wrist up with it. He currently had handcuffs linking from one wrist to another to restrict him. Well, he wasn’t sure if they could still be handcuffs. The cuffs weren’t metal, but it wasn’t putty either. Leather was wrapped around his wrists and were linked close together by a short chain. He didn’t stand a chance in strength against the bonds. 

“Alright, get in.” Saeran commanded as he stepped back and sank into a nearby chair. Yoosung jolted forward in his steps and stopped at the porcelain tub. He looked at Saeran, silently double checking that this was okay. Saeran only nodded, his white hair bobbing with his head. Yoosung turned back to the bathtub and tentatively stepped in. The water stung at first as the heat enveloped his cold toes, but Yoosung knew he only needed to warm up to it. It wasn't too hot, his body temperature just needed to reach an average degree. Once he had both feet planted on the floor of the tub, he sunk down into the warmth with a sigh of relief. He kept his hands held up and fingers limp as he didn’t submerge the cuffs into the water. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Saeran lean forward. Yoosung instinctively flinched, but Saeran only pressed his finger down on the chain, submerging his hands.

“You can get them wet, it’s fine.”

Yoosung chewed his lips nervously. He couldn’t remember if leather could get water damage and worried about angering Saeran, but if Saeran said it was okay then Yoosung expected himself to relax. It was a little easier said than done, one of the things he feared most about his captor was his indecisiveness. Yoosung tried to shake the worry from his mind and made himself worry more about going against his words. He turned his gaze over to Saeran.

“Um…thank you.”

This made Saeran beam.

“Of course! My, aren’t you so nice today?” He ruffled Yoosungs hair, a tone of demeaning in his action. Yoosung was starting to get used to the feeling though, so being treated like a pet was getting easier over time to deal with. Saeran’s hand slid off the top of Yoosungs head and rested back to fold his arms.

“You’ve been such a good boy, I want you to enjoy yourself a bit.”

Yoosung felt a tint of warmth in his cheeks as he smiled.

“Ah, thank y-..you”

Yoosungs' sentence caught in his throat and stuttered out the rest forcefully. He turned his head away to hide his face, not wanting Saeran to see his expression. Mid sentence Yoosung had caught himself feeling good about Saeran praise. He hated this man, so why did he enjoy his kind words?

Although Saeran couldn’t see Yoosungs face, he had an idea of why his voice strained mid-thanking.

“Well, go on.” He prompted and gestured to the side of the tub. Yoosung looked at a bottle of shampoo and a bar of soap lined at his side. He raised his hands above water again, making it cascade down his restraints and forearms. He picked the soap and attempted to wet it. He fumbled briefly and let out a distressed noise as it out of his hands underwater. He was about to retrieve it himself when Saeran’s hands came into view and snatched the soap from between his legs. As soon as he could, Yoosung clamped his legs shut. Saeran tsked and moved to be behind him. Yoosungs face burned as he felt Saeran begin to lather up his back.

“That’s pretty pathetic, you can’t even wash yourself.” He poked fun at him.

“I just…dropped it is all.” Yoosung tried to excuse himself, but Saeran ignored it. His hands ran over Yoosungs back, occasionally dipping under the surface and bringing it up with handfuls of water and letting it wash down his back. Saeran kept his eyes on Yoosung. He couldn’t help but admire the back of his neck and shoulders. The boy's hair had grown out a bit, and some of it on the back of his neck was wetted. He leaned in for a moment, thinking he spotted something. Saeran reached out and smoothed Yoosungs hair up to expose the back of his neck. He ignored Yoosung’s flinch at the sudden movement and grinned. Sure enough, the roots of his hair were growing out a deep pretty brown.

“You’re not a blonde.”

“No...I just dyed it like that.”

“Why?”

Yoosung blushed. “I...felt like it.” He wasn’t about to tell him that he had dyed it with the intention of trying to get a girlfriend, he couldn’t afford to give Saeran any more ammo.

“You sure it’s not because of your dearly departed cousin?”

Yoosung felt a shock of electricity shoot through his  _ soul.  _ He was incredibly grateful that he was facing away from Saeran. His eyes were wide open as he resorted to a deathly quiet. Saeran laughed and poked his back harshly with the bar of soap.

“Jesus, I was kidding. You got all stiff, did I hit a nerve there?”

“How do you...know about Rika?” Yoosung asked quietly. He expected more teasing or poking from Saeran but was only met with silence. He dared not turn around to look at Saeran, too scared that his face would have a worse look than he was already imagining.

“I read the chat logs, remember?” Saerans voice finally pierced the silence and he continued to wash up his prisoner. He sounded nonchalant and casual, but Yoosung could hear a slight strain in his voice. He wasn’t sure, but he thought it could be anger. Yoosung wondered why that question would upset him, and if it really did then why was he holding it back? It wasn’t like Saeran to hold anything back, if anything Yoosung was surprised his head wasn’t being forced underwater right now. Saeran suddenly stood up and removed the shower nozzle from its perch. He turned on the water and Yoosung cried out as ice cold water blasted his head.

“Oh shut up, I’m only washing your hair.”

Yoosung hunched his shoulders up and tilted his head downward to try and avoid getting any water on his face, but he felt Saerans fingers tangle in his hair and yank his head back up to look forward again. The boy whimpered but held still as the frigid water bit his skin. When Saeran was satisfied he let go of Yoosungs hair and turned off the nozzle. He set it aside and soon enough had his hands tangled back in Yoosung's hair again. This time it was lathering in shampoo, clearing out dirt and grime from an ungodly amount of time of being dirty. Yoosung pulled his knees up and rested his hands on the bottom of the tub between his legs as he let Saeran do his thing. He wasn’t being rough, but he wasn’t being gentle either. Yoosungs head bobbed as Saeran washed his hair.

“I seriously can’t leave you to do anything on your own now, can I?” Saeran sighed. He spoke as though he were begrudgingly taking on the responsibility of a pet he wasn’t too keen on. Yoosung felt the familiar pang of guilt pierce his chest. The feeling of guilt was slowly growing every time Saeran said something like that. He felt like a burden, no better than garbage that belonged in the dump. As they stayed in silence Yoosung's thoughts turned back to Rika.

_ Why was he upset? Did he know her? _

“Did you know her?” He croaked out his thoughts. Saeran’s fingers stopped.

“Who?”

“Rika.”

Yoosung winced when he felt fingers lightly dig into his scalp. “What’s it to you?”

“So you did?”

Yoosung turned around to look at Saeran, hopeful. Maybe if he learned more about her from someone like him, he could start to understand the secrets V had been keeping from him about her death. Saeran was staring back at him with a blank expression. It sent shivers of fear through the blonde, but he had to know, he  _ needed _ to know. Saeran didn’t break his poker face as he studied Yoosung. Yoosung suddenly felt like he was put under a magnifying glass in all vulnerability and shifted uncomfortably. He had no idea what Saeran was thinking, and quite frankly he didn’t want to know. He just hoped to God that he wasn’t angry at his brave questioning. In a flash Saeran’s hand shot out and clasped around Yoosungs neck.

_ Fuck. _

Next thing Yoosung knew Saeran was on top of him in the water, fully clothed. He had no idea how he got there so fast, and Saeran didn’t seem to even care he was crashing water outside of the tub. He wrapped both hands around Yoosungs neck and shoved him under the water so violently he knocked his head against the floor of the tub. Yoosung opened his mouth in a scream but bubbles burst out of his mouth in a frenzy. Even if he was above water, he wouldn’t be able to scream. The grip on his neck was so tight it was making him see stars in the soapy water. His eyes stung like hell, but the sudden struggle for survival overpowered his need to close them. He could barely see Saeran above the shifting water. Yoosung reached up and attempted to shove Saeran off of him, but to no avail. His nose burned as water filled his nostrils. His lungs spasmed in his chest desperately as his mouth opened and closed for air. His struggle grew more frantic and tried to desperately fight off his attacker. When he felt like he was about to pass out from lack of air, the grip on his neck jerked him out of the water and released him.

Yoosung fell forward against Saeran as he hacked out a mouthful of water. He openly began to cry, not caring anymore that Saeran was there to see him. Whenever he was attacked, he didn’t know if that would be the end for him, and frankly he didn’t want to go out by drowning in a tub. His neck  _ hurt _ . He could still feel Saeran’s fingers digging into his flesh. The ghost of his touch wasn’t any less painful. Saeran stayed quiet as Yoosung sobbed against him. Yoosungs hands were shaking so intensely that he didn’t even know what to properly do with them.

“Hey.” Saeran began. When Yoosung didn’t answer through his sobs, Saeran gripped his wrist roughly.

“ _ Hey. _ ”

Yoosung looked up at him and tried to calm his crying to sniffling. He wasn’t very successful, but it was a start. Saeran was looking down at him with that blank expression again. It was just as terrifying, if not more, than the dark look of sadism he sported. The blank look could mean anything, and Yoosung didn’t want to find out what was hiding behind it. Saeran lifted his forearm to show it off to Yoosung, revealing bright red scratch marks. Yoosung paled. He hadn’t even realized he was scratching and clawing at him, he was too caught up in trying not to drown. Saeran reared his arm behind himself before swinging it around to backhand Yoosung across the old bruise on his cheek. Yoosung screamed and clutched it. He curled up protectively around himself. He was managing to stifle his hysteria, but his whole body was shaking like a leaf in a windstorm. Saeran stood up and stepped out of the tub. He ignored the large splash of water he just added to the already wet floors and walked out of the bathroom. With the newfound privacy Yoosung found it easier to gain a hold on his breathing.

“One, two, three,” he whispered to himself as he inhaled to eight, then slowly let out his shaky breath. He repeated this process, a technique Zen had taught him during a panic attack at his place. When he felt a little more collected Saeran stepped back into the bathroom with a set of neatly folded clothing. The fabric of what Yoosung assumed to be the shirt was a mustard yellow.

_ I look awful in yellow. _

The pants were a simple pair of grey sweats with a tie string. Yoosung hiccuped and thought he spotted an object on top of the clothes, but Saeran stepped closer to Yoosung and effectively blocked his view.

“Finish up and meet me outside.” He snapped before turning on his heel and leaving the bathroom one again. Yoosung winced as the door slammed shut behind him. With the newfound privacy he felt a surge of emotions swell up in his throat, but he pushed them back down. He couldn’t afford to have a panic attack, not now when Saeran was already this pissed. He still wasn’t sure why he got so mad. He pondered that it could be because he was speaking out of turn. He thought it was strange to get  _ that  _ angry about it, but then again Saeran was a strange man.

Wasting no more time for fear of punishment, Yoosung obediently finished cleaning himself as best he could. When he finished he stood up and clasped onto the edge of the tub as he swung his leg over it. His other leg followed suit and he was standing outside of the tub again. Being careful not to slip, Yoosung made his way to the beige towel hanging near the clothing. He removed it from its hook and patted his body down as quickly as he could. When he finished he hung the towel back up and turned to the clothing. Sure enough, there was something else perched on top of the clothes. With shaking hands, Yoosung slowly lifted it up. A douche.

_ Oh god no. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran decides to let Yoosung clean up a bit. He helps him bathe and when the topic of Rika comes up, Yoosung is a little too pushy for answers. Saeran blows a fuse and nearly drowns him in the tub. He leaves Yoosung alone to finish cleaning and dressing himself. When Saeran left the clothes with him he added a little gift.


	6. Finally Mine - Something Precious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content warning:  
> -gaslighting  
> -nonconsensual kissing and touching  
> -GRAPHIC depictions of rape  
> -sadism/light masochism  
> -abuse
> 
> I capitalized “graphic” because this chapter gets intense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait, I hope it was worth it ^^

Saeran waited patiently outside of the bathroom. He had gotten out most of his aggression when he nearly drowned Yoosung in the tub. Now he was reclined calmly in a red-cushioned armchair. He was leaning his body to one side and resting his chin in his hand. The jacket he usually wore was now folded over the back of the chair. The image in itself nearly looked comically evil. His free hand rested on the other arm of the chair and his fingers steadily drum rolled against it. The man could hear Yoosung moving around behind the door.

It finally opened and Saeran lifted his head to look at him. Yoosung stepped out, only halfway dressed. His wrists were still bound by the leather cuffs and his fingers clutched the shirt to his chest. Saeran had forgotten about the bonds, he had planned to take them off of him so Yoosung could get dressed but had been too caught up in his tantrum to remember. Saeran felt a small chill of excitement as he realized he could take that into his advantage.

“What, you don’t like the shirt?”

“Uhm…no I…I do…I just-“

“You just need help with everything, right? You can't even dress yourself.” He clicked his tongue like a disappointed parent before curling his finger to gesture at Yoosung to step closer. He relished at the clear discomfort in the old college student. Saeran knew Yoosung wanted to defend himself, to explain the difficulty of putting a shirt on like this. However the previous assault had left him terrified to speak out for himself, even if just a little. Instead he obediently stepped closer to him and averted his eyes.

“Are you all clean now?”

“Yes sir.”

“All of you?”

Yoosungs cheeks  _ burned _ .

“Yes…sir.”

Saeran stood up and stepped closer to him. Yoosung instinctively took a step back and nearly tumbled when Saeran’s hand gripped the small of his back and yanked him closer again. Now that he was pressed close against him, Saeran could feel Yoosungs entire body trembling. His hands were still gripping his shirt tightly and was pinned in between their bodies. He squirmed.

“You know, you can be such a tease.” Saeran purred, his face much too close to Yoosungs. “Coming out only partially dressed, you’re practically begging me to take you.”

Yoosungs' shaking grew. Saeran smiled and leaned in to press his lips against his sore neck.

“Seeing you like this, it makes me want to eat you up.”

Yoosung closed his eyes and tucked his lips in between his teeth, willing this to stop. It didn’t, Saeran didn’t let go and his mouth didn’t move from his neck. He scraped his teeth against Yoosungs skin, trying to elicit a sound. When he didn’t get one, he sunk his teeth in. Yoosung screamed and tried to push himself away, but Saeran locked his arms around the boy and squeezed him close as he bit down harder. It was agonizing on the bruises that had already begun to form in the shape of Saeran’s fingers.

When he finally unlatched his teeth Yoosung had tears in his eyes and was breathing rapidly. Saeran loosened his arms and brought his thumb up to swipe across Yoosungs lower lid, letting it catch the tears that threatened to spill and taking them away before they could. Without another word he swung his arm underneath Yoosung's knees and scooped him up, bridal style. Yoosungs hands fumbled as they tried to keep a hold on the shirt but failed and watched forlornly as it dropped to the ground. Saeran wasn’t the strongest, but he wasn’t weak either. He could hold his own weight, and since Yoosung had become lighter than when he arrived, it was rather easy to carry him out of the room.

Saeran made his way down a hallway before turning into a bedroom. He stepped to the bed and mercilessly tossed Yoosung down onto it, making him bounce. By now Yoosung was growing frantic.

“Please, Saeran, I-“ His pleas were cut off by a harsh slap across his cheek that made Yoosung cry out at the sharp pain.

“Do not call me that now, refer to me as your Master.” Saeran ordered. Yoosung hiccuped and wiped away more tears with the back of his hand.

“M..Master please, don’t do this, I don’t-“ He was cut off again by fingers tangling in his hair and yanking his head up. Saeran smacked him hard again, this time Yoosung couldn’t curl up due to the hard grip on him Saeran had. A sob escaped his lips as he squeezed one eye shut. He stared up at his attacker pleadingly.

“Don’t. I don’t want to hear it.” He growled. Yoosung bit his lip hard to keep in any more noise and nodded his head as best he could.

“Good.”

Saeran let him go and reached over to a small table by the bed. Yoosung flinched when he felt something wrap around his sore neck and click closed in the back. His hand flew up to touch the leather but Saeran smacked it away.

“No touching.” He grinned devilishly. “Do you remember this? The collar I gave you when you first got here?”

Of course Yoosung remembered, he knew what it was as soon as he heard the click. Saeran got onto the bed and shoved Yoosung down onto his back. He pushed his body up against Yoosungs, forcing his legs to lift in the air. Yoosung's hands raised to cover his face. The protection didn’t last long, Saeran gripped one of his wrists and moved it up to pin down above his head, dragging the other wrist alongside it by the small chain. Yoosung felt a surge of frustration that forced itself out in a pained sound. Saeran never let him cover himself up when he felt in danger, any act of self preservation was immediately discarded and forced Yoosung into vulnerability. He strained his arms against Saeran’s grip, only able to lift his elbows.

“Please, Saera- _ Master _ ,” he quickly corrected himself, but too late as Saeran yanked his hands forward to remove his arms from his face and gave it a hard smack. Yoosungs head whipped to the side from the sudden force. He felt something warm on his lips and realized when he tasted copper that Saeran just busted it open. It didn’t hurt, not with the amount of adrenaline that was surging through his quaking body. Unfortunately he could still feel all of the pain in his cheek. Yoosungs poor face was forming white finger marks that were crowned by a flushed red. To him it felt like pins and needles were relentlessly going into his tender skin.

When Yoosung lifted his head off the bed he saw his tears wetting the blanket. His body convulsed with a sob. He wanted to beg, scream, run! He couldn’t handle being hit so much in such a short amount of time. His cries cut short with a choke as Saeran hooked his fingers in the back of Yoosungs collar and yanked him down. The force of being held down by the collar already was putting too much pressure on his abused neck and restricted his breathing. Yoosung struggled to press his body further back into the bed to release some of the pressure and breath easier.

Saeran saw the pain in Yoosung's eyes, and it looked beautiful to him. He let go of the collar and his lips crashed onto Yoosungs. He tasted the newfound wound on his bottom lip. His kissing was frantic, hungry. Yoosung pressed himself further back into the bed and brought his fists up protectively over his own chest. Saeran pulled away, clearly annoyed. He had a small amount of blood smeared on his lip, and seeing it made Yoosung cringe. Saerans fingers slid underneath the collar and dug into Yoosungs sensitive flesh. Yoosung screamed in agony and tried to pull away. It felt like Saeran was pressing a hot iron against his neck.

“Kiss me back.” Saeran ordered. He didn’t give the other boy time to think before he was forcing his lips onto his again. Yoosung tried to swallow the shame boiling up in his throat and started to do as commanded. He hated this, but he didn’t want anything else to happen to his poor neck or face. Having the collar rubbing over the injured skin was already harsh enough. Yoosung choked back his sobs as best he could as he tried to move his lips with Saeran’s. Now he was beginning to feel the wound, it was making his lip start to throb. Saeran snarled and snatched Yoosungs hand before yanking it up, forcing his other hand to follow, and pressed it against himself. Yoosung took the hint and flattened his palms on Saeran’s chest. He wanted so badly to push him away, but knew the consequences would be dire if he did. Yoosung felt Saeran’s kisses grow in intensity as his tongue seemed to be trying to pick a fight with Yoosungs.

“Touch me more,” Saeran panted heavily against his lips. Yoosung obediently ran his shaking hands up his chest to his shoulders before going back down again. He repeated this, hoping it was enough for him.

A thought then crossed Yoosungs mind, a hopeful thought. If he fought back, then he knew he would suffer. However if he played along for now, Yoosung hoped there was a possibility that Saeran would get tired and leave him alone. He seemed to get more aggressive and excited whenever Yoosung struggled, so if he played along he could possibly be let off the hook. Yoosung swallowed his pride as best he could before returning the kiss with more confidence. A low groan rumbled in Saeran’s throat and Yoosung pulled his shirt into fists. Tears ran down his temples as he tried to ignore the feeling that he was becoming pure filth. It was for survival, he told himself.

_ I just need to get past this. _

Saeran pulled away and stared down at Yoosung. His mouth held open to accommodate his ragged breathing. His face flushed a darker shade of pink as he studied Yoosung, who was staring up at him with pure terror. The boys lips, ignoring the wound, were slightly swollen and tinted a pretty shade of red from Saeran’s aggression. Saeran bit his own lip.

_ Shit… _

He moved a strand of loose hair away from Yoosungs face as he gazed into those puppy-dog eyes he adored so much.

_ What is this boy doing to me? _

“S…M……Master…?” Yoosung asked, questioning why he was suddenly so still. Saeran saw him try and hold back a cringe, but ultimately failed. He knew Yoosung hated referring to him as that, and it only made it that much more enjoyable.

“You’re getting into it, could it be that you like it?” He said in a hushed tone. Yoosung didn’t answer as Saeran gently kissed his stinging cheek. “You can be such a tease, your body is just  _ begging _ for me to break it, to make you my perfect little pet.” He ran his tongue across Yoosungs jaw, making Yoosungs body convulse in a shiver. “Do you want me that badly?” He purred.

His hands had retreated again and curled into a fist, pressing them close to his own chest protectively. He could hear Saeran’s labored breathing, just as much as he could feel the hot breath on his skin. Yoosung felt like screaming at him, to tell him to fuck off. Of course he didn’t like this, he was being forced to comply unless he wanted a hard beating. He knew Saeran knew this, so there was no point in retaliating even if he had the courage to do so. Yoosung stayed silent as he let Saeran lightly bite the skin where his neck met his jaw. Luckily it wasn’t too injured there, and Yoosung was able to tolerate the light pain.

Saeran pulled away and Yoosung was able to let his legs fall back down to the bed again. He watched with dread as Saeran whipped his own shirt off over his head and tossed it to the ground. He turned his attention back on Yoosung and gripped the waistband of his new sweatpants. Yoosung gasped when he felt them start to tug down and immediately bent his knees up high to try and stop it from going any further.

“Wait, w-wai- WAIT!!”

Saeran had no trouble yanking his pants down and slipped them to his knees to expose the briefs that had been given to him. Yoosung desperately started kicking off the mattress and pushed himself further back on the bed away from him. Saeran growled as he grabbed his ankles and harshly pulled him closer again, dragging the sheets under Yoosungs body with him.

“Saeran, please, I don’t want this!” He gasped out as he rolled over and frantically crawled away as best he could, but mostly slipping with the sheets. He felt the rest of his pants get yanked off, taking his knees with it and dropping his body flat on the bed. Suddenly Saeran’s weight was on him, crushing him. He straddled the small of his back and leaned forward, hands on his shoulders and pressing them into the mattress. Yoosung tried to get up, but his knees could only continue to slide against the blankets. He suddenly felt claustrophobic as his breath became restricted once again.

“Come now, you were just being so good, you don’t want to get punished again do you?” Saeran hummed. Yoosung felt Saeran grind his hardon against him, it made him feel sick. The tears in his eyes stung with regret and fear.

“I’ll give you two choices.” Saeran said.

Yoosung choked back a sob as he listened.

“You can keep playing hard to get and I’ll take what I want.” The white-haired man grinned. “Or you can play with me and it won’t be as painful as it could be.”

Yoosung closed his eyes, causing tears to spill. He tried to clear his head so he could think about which option he would take. If he fought, he could at least keep a scrap of his dignity, but at the cost of his body’s safety. On the other hand, if he just grit his teeth and went with it, there was a chance it would be tolerable enough to get through. His fist clenched onto the sheets as he agonizingly thought about the consequences of both. He wished he never left the basement, he would give anything to be back underground. Saeran smoothed Yoosungs blonde locks away from his face. 

“Well?”

“…I…”

“I don’t have all day.” Saeran paused. “Well, I do actually. Buuut if you don’t make up your mind I’m going to assume you want it rough.” He said in a teasing tone, taunting him. Yoosung squeezed his eyes shut.

“ Okay. ”

“Hmm?”

“…Okay.”

“‘Okay’ what?”

“Okay I’ll…I’ll do what y-you want.”

Saeran smiled wide as he slid off the boys back, which Yoosung didn’t realize until now that it had started aching from being sat on. He stiffened as Saeran began to touch him again, starting by trailing a finger up his spine.

“Get up.”

Yoosung slowly got up, his arms and legs shaking. He sat up and kept his eyes turned down as he rested his arms limply in front of him. Saeran gripped his upper arm and tugged him closer. Yoosung followed his movements and moved closer on his knees. Saeran hooked a finger in the front of the collar and tugged him in for a kiss. Yoosung whimpered at the pressure from the collar on his wounds once again but kept his mouth shut about it. Saeran’s free hand blindly reached over to the bedside table again. He found the knob of the small drawer and pulled it open. He broke the kiss but didn’t break his stare from Yoosung.

“Take them off.”

Yoosung didn’t have to ask what he was referring to, considering his underwear was the only thing on him besides the collar. He hesitantly shifted his weight to let himself push the new briefs down his thighs, to his shins, and finally placed neatly beside him. As he was doing this Saeran swung his legs over the side of the bed and rested his feet flat on the ground. He gave his collar another tug once Yoosung was bare. Yoosung moved forward as Saeran guided him, moving him to his lap. Yoosung tried to sit sideways but Saeran rolled his eyes and let go of his collar to place his hands on his hips. He guided him to straddle his lap before taking his bound wrists and draping them over his shoulders. Yoosung tried not to clench his hands into fists behind Saeran's head, knowing that the man would feel the muscles tighten in his arms, and would probably laugh at him. Saeran leaned in and kissed along his jaw as his hand rummaged in the drawer. His fingers found what he was looking for and took hold of it. Yoosung turned his head to the side and tried to crane his neck to see what Saeran’s hands were doing behind his back.

“Look at me.”

Yoosung turned his head around again, still slightly facing away. He heard the sound of a cap pop off. Saeran smiled at Yoosung, a disgustingly feigned sweet look. Yoosung opened his mouth to ask what was behind him when he felt slick fingers between his cheeks and prod against his entrance. Lube. The question turned into a squeak of surprise. Yoosung snapped his mouth shut and his entire body stiffened. Saeran didn’t give him much time to prepare before Yoosung felt his finger push in. Yoosung fell forward against him and tried to hold in any more sounds of surprise. He didn’t want to give Saeran that satisfaction. His forehead rested against his shoulder while his own shoulders were hunched up nearly to his ears. The finger inside him curled and Yoosung jerked his hands closer to himself, but the restraints pressed against the back of Saeran’s neck and only tugged him closer. Yoosung grit his teeth when he already felt a second finger push in past the ring of muscle. This was going way too fast.

“Bite me.” Saeran commanded. Yoosung blinked in response.

“What?”

“I can tell this is new for you, bite into me. It’ll help.”

Yoosung slowly opened his mouth and latched his teeth around The muscle between Saeran’s neck and shoulder bone. He had no idea what game Saeran was playing at, but at least he was given this. The fingers inside him began to move and stretch him. Saeran was an impatient man, and it was pretty clear he wanted to rush his prepping. Yoosung bit harder into his skin at the new sensations. It earned a gentle but shaky inhale from Saeran and Yoosung quickly caught on. He was a masochist. He bit harder into him. It made Saeran sharply suck the air in between his teeth. At least with this Yoosung could feel a small sense of victory, causing pain in his captor, despite the fact that he seemed to be enjoying it.

Suddenly the fingers found that spot inside Yoosung that made him see stars. He tensed and his eyelashes fluttered as a broken moan became muffled against Saeran. Immediately Saerans fingers began to stimulate this spot, trying all different kinds of movements. He rubbed up and down with alternating fingers, he moved in circles, he even massaged deeply into it. All of them made Yoosung whine into him and bite down until there would surely be a mark. He had never played with himself in this way, hell, he never even considered it before. The foreign, blissful sensations scared the hell out of him.

Yoosung began to raise himself on his knees, but Saeran clasped down on his thigh with his other hand and shoved him back down. Yoosungs hands stretched open and closed multiple times through this, trying to fight the sensations inside him that began to travel to his dick.

Saeran soon felt Yoosungs excitement begin to prod against his abdomen. In a split second he curled his finger and pressed  _ hard _ on the bundle of nerves. To his surprise, Yoosungs jaw went slack instead of biting down harder. His hips jerked forward momentarily before Yoosung could control them again.

“Such a good boy…see? I knew you’d start to like this.” He murmured into his ear. Yoosung felt hot shame wash over his body.

_ No, I don’t like this. _

Saeran’s fingers pressed hard on the spot once more and Yoosungs hips jerked up again.

_ I don’t like this. _

The hand on his thigh slid up to his waist and held onto it with a firm grip.

_ I don’t like this. _

Saeran pulled him in and guided him to grind against him.

_ Please God, don’t let me start liking this. _

Yoosung squeezed his eyes shut to force his tears back in as he let Saeran guide his movements. A third finger wiggled it’s way inside and Yoosung sharply inhaled. It was starting to hurt, even with the lube. He hoped Saeran would use more of the lube soon. The fingers continued to simultaneously stimulate and stretch him. At one point Yoosung got his wish and Saeran momentarily retreated his fingers to apply more lube before going right back in. It was becoming easier to tolerate, and the stretching began to hurt less.

Saeran pulled his fingers out and took a hold of Yoosungs hips as he stood up. Yoosung nearly fell back but used his restraints to press into the back of Saeran’s neck and hold himself upright. Saeran turned them around and dropped them both onto the bed, Yoosung being underneath him again. He took hold on the undersides of Yoosungs arms and pushed them up away from Saerans neck and flat to the bed. The blonde now had his arms stretched out above him. In one swift motion, Saeran gripped onto Yoosungs side and flipped him over. He landed on his stomach and lightly bounced from the impact. He felt panic start to boil inside his throat again as Saeran’s hands closed in around his hips. He yelped as his captor yanked him up and forced Yoosung on his knees. He tried to push himself up to his elbows, but was stopped as Saeran flattened his palm on Yoosung between the shoulder blades and shoved him back down. He was now forced to keep his arms outstretched in front of him with his rear in the air. Yoosung lowered his face into the bed and choked on a sob. Saeran was having too much fun with this. Yoosung bunched the dark red blankets in his fists as fingers slipped in once again and stretched, making sure he was physically ready before pulling out again.

The view Saeran had was beautiful to him. It wasn’t at all how he’d imagined it to be, it was better. The hand holding Yoosung down slid up to his hip once more. He inspected the body in front of him. Head buried in the bed, gripping his blankets, back arched and ass propped up for fair use, and the cuffs he’d been gifted with. Yoosung had average hips (if not a little narrower,) but had a fine waist. It was perfect for Saeran to hold and use him as he pleased. He heard the boy whimper as his sides were stroked. Saeran eventually turned his attention back to his rear. He gave the fat of Yoosungs ass a squeeze and saw his thighs tremble in response.

Yoosung could only stay in this position for the time being as Saeran touched and prodded him. He heard Saeran undo his belt which followed by the soft sound of clothing dropping to the ground. Saeran rested his throbbing cock in between his cheeks and slowly rolled his hips, grinding against them. It felt great. In his peripheral vision he saw Yoosung bending his elbows and pulling the blankets closer to him in tighter fists. Saeran smirked to himself.

_ Nice. _

He continued to grind on him, and Yoosung tried to fight back the bile that was starting to rise in his throat. He felt Saeran retreat, only to have the head of his slicked cock press against his entrance. Yoosungs entire body stiffened again.

“Relax, it’ll only hurt you more if you don’t.” Saeran advised. Yoosung took in a few deep breaths, slowly letting himself relax with each exhale. His moment of trying to relax was cut short when Saeran pushed in the tip. Yoosungs' entire body clenched up once again, making Saeran moan.

“Oh you got tight…” he exhaled. Yoosung could hear the bliss practically dripping from Saerans words as he began to push in deeper.

_ Oh, FUCK THIS. _

Yoosung pulled one knee in before kicking outward with all the force he could manage. Even if it was a powerful kick, it wouldn’t have done anything as Saeran had deflected it with a flick of his wrist and caused Yoosung to kick the air. Yoosung didn’t give up, he tried to scuttle away and managed to get a few inches before he felt all of Saeran’s weight crash down on him. Fear and panic drove Yoosung into frantic attempts of escape. He reached back to push Saeran’s face away but only found his hands pinned down in front of him. Saeran’s knuckles were white from the grip he had on Yoosungs wrists. Yoosung screamed, he screamed like he’d never screamed before. He felt his vocal chords strain themselves from the sheer force of his screams, but he didn’t care. He was suddenly muffled as Saeran’s hand clasped tight over his mouth.

“Shut,  _ up! _ ”

Saeran’s knees roughly pushed Yoosungs legs further apart before Saeran thrusted hard, deep into Yoosung. Yoosung threw his head back and screeched into Saeran’s palm. His scream would have been deafening if not for the hand filtering it. Yoosung felt a sob tear through his body as Saeran buried his face in his neck and started pounding into him. Yoosung gripped onto the sheets as he felt Saeran sliding back and forth inside of him at an impossible speed. Each time Yoosungs hips bounced back up from the mattress, they were only met by Saeran’s harsh thrusts that would send them right back down. Saeran used this rhythm to his advantage.

Yoosung tried to bite down on his hand, but the grip was tight enough to keep even his jaw still. It didn’t take long until Saeran was mercilessly pounding against Yoosungs sweet spot. If Saeran’s fingers made him see stars, then Saeran’s cock made him see the moon. His screams began to mix with broken moans while his eyes rolled to the back of his head. His handles on the blanket loosened and fingers stretched out. Pain mixed with pleasure, sending Yoosungs head spinning at a dangerous speed. His mind couldn’t comprehend reality right now, he couldn’t fathom why his body was reacting so positively to something so horrible.

_ Please, someone help me. _

His words couldn’t escape. His thoughts were one of the few things Saeran couldn’t control, so Yoosung silently pleaded for someone, anyone to stop this.

Saeran quickly let go of his poor mouth and pulled his cock out. Before Yoosung could process it, he had his body flipped around again and forced onto his back. Saeran took Yoosungs arms, right below the cuffed wrists, and pinned them down above his head with one hand. He pushed in again, making Yoosung arch his back up and scream again. Saeran’s hand clamped down over his mouth and cut off his screams once more. Tears rolled endlessly as he stared up at his attacker with blurry vision. Saeran was enjoying this way too much. He had moved Yoosung to his back once more because he wanted to see those puppy eyes filled with tears, silently begging him for mercy. Distress filled out every feature on his face, and a hint of red had spread from the effort of resisting. Saeran adored seeing the pain in his eyes, but he also wanted to see pleasure.

The clap of skin on skin resonated through the room alongside Saeran’s heavy breathing and Yoosungs muffled crying. Saeran kept his eyes trained on Yoosungs face, soaking in the sights. Yoosung was having difficulty keeping eye contact, as his eyes kept flicking up. Each thrust seemed to resonate through his entire body.

Saeran could nearly pinpoint the exact moment Yoosung gave in.

His body went slack, no longer resisting. He still cried, but no longer tried to hold in any more moans or whines. Saeran let go of his face to let him breathe easier and dropped his body onto Yoosungs. His arms snuck underneath him and gripped onto the boys shoulders to hold him in place as his hips rammed against him. Saeran was panting like a beast, nearly drooling on Yoosung with hunger and desire.

“Ah, you’re so tight! Ah f-fuck-“

The thrusts quickened and Yoosung could tell his attacker was about to cum. He himself was getting dangerously close to releasing all over himself. His arms laid limp above his head and legs raised, his body rocking against the bed. All he could do was hope that Saeran didn’t finish inside.

“ _ Ah-shit- _ “

Saeran tensed his body and held Yoosungs body close to his as he came. One hand slid down and pressed against the small of his back as he let the waves of pleasure wash over him and focus on his cock.

_ Ah…he came inside. _

Yoosung let his eyes slip close as Saeran sensually rolled his hips against him. He could still feel him twitching inside. Eventually Saeran had rode out the waves of his orgasm. He slowly pulled out with a soft moan, directly next to Yoosungs ear. Yoosung hadn’t finished, not that he wanted to in the first place. Now that his sweet spot wasn’t getting pounded, he felt his entire body relax into the sheets. Saeran rolled over and laid next to him. His chest heaved as he still panted quite heavily. The man had put all of his energy into it, the whole thing was extremely arousing for him. Saeran turned his head to look at Yoosung. The tears had stopped and were silent. He lifted his hand and tucked hair behind Yoosungs ear for him. Surprisingly, Yoosung didn’t flinch at the touch.

“You were so good, my little pet.” He praised. “I look forward to being with you more.” He rolled to his side and pulled Yoosung into a gentle hug. He cuddled into him, practically purring. Yoosung didn’t resist as a hand pressed his head close to Saeran’s chest.

“I’m going to take such good care of you, you’ll grow to love me.”

  
  



	7. A Dream or a Nightmare?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content warning:  
> -rape aftermath  
> -gaslighting  
> -mentions of family loss  
> -manipulation

_ Yoosung couldn’t remember how he got where he was, but it was dark. The room felt empty, not just the empty where nothing was inside it, but the kind of empty where he couldn’t even feel a temperature. Any proof of life was void in the space he was in. It was just him, alone. Even then, the atmosphere seemed to be slowly dragging his own existence out of him, pulling it out little by little. Yoosung wrapped his arms around himself in an attempt to keep it in, but it only made himself feel colder. _

_ “Hello?” He called out, but got no answer. “...Hello?” Still no answer, not even an echo. He took a step forward, but his footing seemed to slide across the floor. Eyelids hung heavy, and no matter how hard he concentrated he couldn’t seem to open them enough. He continued to try walking, eventually gaining a slow but steady pace forward. It took all of his concentration just to move an inch, it was unbelievably difficult. _

_ Yoosung wasn’t sure how much time had passed, he knew it had been a while but he still didn’t feel tired. He was slowly losing feeling in his limbs, any touch seemed nonexistent. No matter how much he hugged himself, he couldn’t even get comfort from himself. Even boredom seemed to be drained from him, all he could do was near-blindly walk forward in hopes to find something, anything to hold onto. _

_ Something small came, a voice. It was so quiet Yoosung almost didn’t hear it in the silent void. He stopped to focus on his ears. The voice barely touched his eardrums again, calling out from the distance. Yoosung finally felt something; hope. He put all of his effort into moving forward, willing his cursed feet to bring him to the voice. He tried to take it slow and steady for fear of breaking the rhythm he had built up, but now that he had a destination, the slow passage of time was growing excruciating. Impatience trickled into him, slowly growing a pool of anxiety. He began to push forward quicker, to find that voice. _

_ The voices calls were still unreadable, he couldn’t quite hear what was being communicated, but it didn’t matter. The voice called out again, and Yoosung began to find a familiarity to it. It was someone he knew, someone he held dear. Despite the recognition, he still couldn’t determine who it was. Finally, more emotion began to bubble up and push out of his throat in a relieved sigh. _

_ However, that relief began to turn into dread when he realized that the person was calling out in distress. Yoosung still couldn’t tell what was being said, but he didn’t need to in order to catch on that something was wrong, so horribly wrong. He began to move in haste. The calls began to turn into something more sinister, no more words were being spoken, rather cries for someone to hear and come help. Yoosung grew closer, and he was beginning to hear it more clearly, but for some reason he still couldn’t see them. _

_ The cries began to turn into screams of terror and pain. His footing slid out too far and he found himself on his hands and knees. Desperate to keep moving, he tried to crawl. Panic pushed him forward more than anything else, but he still couldn’t find the voice. It grew to a point where Yoosung felt as though he was where the screams were coming from, but still couldn’t find the source. A slow progression of terror began to fill Yoosung as he realized it was coming from all around him, every direction. There was no direct source, it was just the screaming of horror. He felt like he was drowning in them, it was overwhelmingly deafening. Yoosung curled up on the ground, knees tucked in and forehead pressed to the ground as he pushed his hands over his ears. The screams penetrated through his hands as if they weren’t even there, in fact Yoosung couldn’t even feel them. He moved his hands to grip his hair instead, tugging, but he wasn’t even sure if he was gripping onto anything. He had lost all sense of feeling, and his sight darkened completely. The screams enveloped his body, overwhelming his mind. _

  
  
  


Yoosungs eyes flew open. He screamed in terror and shot up from where he was lying. Fear pumped through his veins. He looked around frantically, disoriented and dizzy. He tried to jump up, but something tugged harshly at his neck that sent a burning shock of pain to erupt and reverberate into his skull. The sudden tug sent him onto his back again. He instead resorted to pushing himself across whatever soft surface he was on until his back hit a wall. He cowered against it and held his head in his hands as screams continued to push out of his throat.

The door flew open and someone came in, someone he didn’t like. White hair bobbed as he ran over to Yoosung. Yoosung began to scream louder, scared that he was about to be hurt. The person grabbed him by the arm and yanked him forward. Yoosung fought back, his fists frantically hitting against his opponent, but to no avail as he was pulled into a tight embrace.

“Shh, it’s okay. It was only a bad dream, you’re okay.”

Yoosung struggled desperately, but the arms seemed to be locked around him. He could feel his panic peak and shatter him. He screamed into the shirt of whoever was holding him until he slowly began to burn himself out. Little by little as he found himself melting in defeat against the person holding him. As his body slowly gave in, he began to find a comfort in the embrace. He couldn’t remember the last time he was held like this. His cries died down and eventually he pressed himself further into the warmth. He clung onto their shirt for dear life. He buried his face in the person's chest, wetting their shirt as they whispered sweet comforts to him.

“It’s okay, I’m here now, it’s going to be okay.”

Yoosungs' strength depleted and his body surrendered, relaxing into the person. The only thing that didn’t loosen was the grip on the red shirt.

_ Red shirt. White hair. _

He began to list the persons attributes in his head, beginning to recognize them from the haze of interrupted sleep. He glanced up and his eyes met with theirs.

_ Blue eyes. _

Recognition hit him. Saeran. He turned his eyes to the room. They were both on a bed. A wardrobe stood in the corner and the door hung wide open to reveal a hallway. His eyes slowly scanned everything as he began to fit the puzzle pieces together to reform his memory.

Yoosung was in what he assumed to be Saeran’s room, the red sheets were a mess and tangled around his legs. He was fully clothed with sweats and the yellow shirt he had dropped before coming to the room, which Saeran had brought to him later.

The grip loosened on Saeran’s shirt and left sizable wrinkles. Saeran didn’t stop Yoosung as he slowly pulled away. Yoosungs body wanted to stay in the safe embrace, but he knew it was only fabricated comfort. Something tugged at his neck again as he moved further away. Yoosung winced at the dull throb of pain it caused as it agitated his wounds. He brought his hand up to touch whatever was restricting him. He was still wearing the collar but with an additional leash. His eyes found the leash and followed the trail to where it was tied tightly to the bedpost. A strip of tape covered the knot. He remembered Saeran talking to him as he put it on.

_ “If you try anything smart, I’ll know, so don’t break the tape.” _

Yoosung combed his hair back with his fingers as he recalled more information. Saeran had brought him here. Yoosung didn’t recall when he fell asleep, but apparently he had. Before Saeran left, Yoosung had been…

The boy felt like his soul drained from his body. He had been raped in this room. He grimaced as shame filled his heart. It had been his first time, something taken away that could never be taken back.

Yoosung was the type to avoid reality when it was something he didn’t like. For Rika’s passing, he had been convinced that V was hiding something big from him and that his cousin was still alive. It wasn’t until V visited him the day before he left that he began to accept it. That was the last time someone held him while he cried, someone who wouldn’t hurt him. Now he had a new reality he wanted to escape, he had already begun to block out his emotions. He couldn’t deny what happened, but he could deny how he felt about it. He turned his attention back to Saeran, who was staring at him with a surprisingly soft expression.

“Are you alright?” Saeran didn’t make a move toward Yoosung, which Yoosung was relieved for. He shakily nodded his head, which earned an earnest look of worry. “It’s okay if you’re not, you woke up screaming for me.”

_ Was I screaming for him? _

Yoosung didn’t think he had called out Saeran’s name. In fact he was pretty sure he hadn't, but the way Saeran was looking at him was starting to cause him to question otherwise.

_ Why is he being so nice to me? _

Yoosung pulled his knees up protectively. Doubt clouded his mind, this was too good to be true. Maybe he was still dreaming. Yoosung looked down at his arm. He brought his worn down fingernails to his skin and pinched. He winced at the small pain. Saeran let out a gentle laugh.

“No, you’re not still dreaming. Come here,” he scooted closer to Yoosung. Yoosung tensed up and leaned away, but that didn’t stop Saeran from pulling him into another hug. Now Yoosung was wide awake and once again on high alert. He felt incredibly uncomfortable and his body remained stiff in Saeran’s arms. The other man didn’t seem to notice and continued to hold him. He gently pet Yoosungs hair and kissed his temple.

“You poor thing, it’s alright. I’m here now, I can keep you safe.”

Safe. Yoosung wrinkled his nose in disgust. There was nothing safe about Saeran, so for him to say he’d keep him safe was near insulting. Saeran pulled away and Yoosung immediately dropped the expression of disgust. He didn’t want him to see. Saeran cupped his face in his hands and looked into Yoosungs eyes.

“I know something that can help you feel better.” He started. Yoosung felt dread at the statement alone. Saeran leaned in and pressed his lips against his. Yoosung instinctively jerked his head back. He cursed himself out in his mind and hunched over protectively. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears with panic and pinched his eyelids shut as he waited for the inevitable beating. To his surprise he didn’t feel anything. He peeked with one eye to see Saeran looking at him with slight amusement.

“Relax, I told you, it’s going to be okay.” Saeran caressed his cheek. “Now let me help you, silly boy.” He leaned in and their lips touched again. Once more Yoosungs eyes shut. He tried to swallow the painful lump growing in his throat, but to no avail. Saeran brushed aside hair away from Yoosungs face.

“You’re so stiff.” He paused to think before speaking again. “Just imagine I’m someone else.”

Yoosung opened his eyes.

“What?”

“I really do just want to help you feel better, so just think that I’m someone else right now.”

Yoosung's gaze flicked back and forth, trying to read into both of Saeran’s eyes. Before Yoosung could get an inkling of information, Saeran closed the space between their lips again. There was something different about this kiss, it wasn’t pushy like the usual ones. His tongue wasn’t forcing itself into Yoosungs mouth, and there was no aggression. It felt...nice. Yoosung’s eyelids fluttered momentarily before he allowed them to close. He decided to try Saeran’s suggestion, imagining someone else in his place.

He hadn’t thought about MC in a while, in fact since he had got here he had tried to block her out of his mind for fear of feeling endless heartbreak. Yoosung had tried to push thoughts of her out, to ignore that the two had grown close before his capture. However, being held and kissed so gently made that wall begin to crumble. His busted lip had begun to heal already, but it still throbbed. He ignored it, wanting to only feel good right now. He felt Saeran’s hand slide from his cheek to lightly hold the back of his head. Usually that kind of movement made Yoosung feel trapped, but it felt different right now, comforting even. It wasn’t long until Saeran began to feel Yoosung cautiously kiss him back.

Yoosung felt like a bubble burst inside him, and the mental barriers he had slowly been building up began to melt away. At this moment he wanted to feel safe. If Saeran was letting him, he wanted to take advantage of it while he still could. The blonde still tried to partially block out any thoughts of MC, and to instead imagine he was kissing a nameless somebody. Despite the effort, she kept appearing in his mind, kissing him and tangling her fingers in his hair. He wanted to touch her, to make sure she was there with him.

Yoosungs raised his hands to touch Saerans cheeks with his quivering fingertips. He gently took Saeran’s face in his hands and kissed him with more confidence. Saeran kissed him back without pushing himself onto Yoosung. He wasn’t doing anything that would make Yoosung feel inferior, and Yoosung slowly began to feel more comfortable. The only time Saeran made a move against Yoosungs actions was when Yoosung pulled away for a moment. Saeran quickly followed him out of the kiss and pressed his lips against his again. Yoosung didn’t resist, instead he leaned forward again. It felt welcoming rather than anything else that he had been exposed to. 

Time passed and Yoosungs feelings of fulfillment started to fade into shame. He knew he wasn’t kissing someone else, and he knew he wasn’t kissing MC. His movements slowed down and tapered off. He put a hand on Saeran’s chest and pushed himself away with pursed lips. He kept his eyes cast down. Saeran took a hold of the hand on his chest and brought it up to his lips.

“Do you feel any better, my pup?”

Yoosung hesitantly nodded. It was true that it helped calm him down, he just wasn’t sure if it was worth it. Saeran kissed his knuckles.

“I’m happy to hear that. It’s good to see you happy.”

Yoosung wondered if he actually looked happy to Saeran, he hoped it wasn’t true. The shame would only build up if he found out he didn’t fully resent his captor. Yoosung lowered his head further while Saeran ruffled his hair playfully.

“You didn’t get enough sleep, I’ll let you be for now, but I want to see you again later. So get some rest for me, alright doll?” Saeran kissed the top of Yoosungs head before sliding off the bed and heading out once again. Yoosung didn’t move until the door closed and he heard the lock click. Of course he would be locked in, even with the leash keeping him in place Saeran didn’t trust Yoosung to be left alone without anything to keep him there.

Yoosung tucked his knees up and rested his chin on them. He turned his eyes back to the strip of tape on the knot of the leash. He hadn’t even considered touching it, as badly as he wanted to; he knew the consequences weren’t only for him, but for the people he was sacrificing himself for. The two men hadn’t spoken of their promise for a while, but it still stood. If Yoosung wanted to protect the people he loved from Saeran, then he would stay with him. Yoosung felt guilt as regret prodded him. He didn’t want to regret agreeing to this compromise, he wanted to be brave and protect the people he loved, but that selfish part of him cried out for him to just stop, to escape and run from this hell. Since Saeran had claimed his body on the very bed he resided on, that part of himself had gotten louder and harder to drown out. Still, Yoosung managed to cover it and lie back down on his side.

He tugged the covers over himself and curled up in a fetal position. He held the blankets in loose fists and tucked them underneath his chin as he stared at the wall. Shame began to turn into embarrassment. He couldn’t fathom what got into him to cause him to willingly kiss Saeran. Although Yoosung had been imagining it was someone else, it was still Saeran he was kissing. Yoosung ducked his face into the blanket and pulled it further over his head, just as he would do as a kid when he was scared of a monster being in the dark, lurking and waiting for the boy to peek from the safety of his blankets.

Yoosung had to admit, it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. For as long as he’d been there, he’d have to scrounge for any sort of affection, and even then it was usually followed by something harsh. However there weren’t any strings attached to it, at least so far. Punishment or want for something in return didn’t come for him. He had felt so fulfilled being held like that.

In the safety of the blanket he touched his fingertips to his lips. He hated Saeran with every fiber of his being, but that didn’t change the fact that he was a good kisser. When it wasn’t forced on him, it felt comforting and warm. Yoosung closed his fingers and lowered his hand away from his face as more shame bubbled up. He couldn’t stand it, he felt like he was drowning in filth. Every part of him felt dirty. Yoosung wanted to go back to the bathroom and scrub his skin raw to get rid of any trace of what was making him feel so low. The feelings were overwhelming and sending his mind spiraling, and even then he had a feeling he hadn’t quite fully processed what had happened to him. Saeran stole something very, very precious from him.

The boy blinked back tears and curled up tighter under the blanket. If he ever escaped this hell, he doubted he’d feel normal ever again.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn’t expecting this fic to get much attention, I’m really glad it’s being liked so far! It’s a good birthday present for me! ^^ thank you all for the support and nice comments♥️


	8. Show Your Puppy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content warning:
> 
> -abuse  
> -forced sexual acts  
> -minor dissociation  
> -humiliation  
> -overstimulation  
> -Yoosung hates himself

Yoosung tried but failed to get more rest. He ended up rolling in the sheets, unable to shake off the relentless dirty feeling. Frustration was added to the mix of unwanted emotions. Now that he had a comfortable place to sleep, on a surprisingly soft mattress, his mind wouldn’t allow him the satisfaction of a good night's rest. That, and he had no idea the next time Saeran would come back in to do lord knows what. The line was already crossed, giving Saeran incentive to let go of any restrictions he may have been holding back earlier. Yoosung couldn’t help but bitterly snicker at the thought of his tormentor holding anything back. What a joke.

He lifted himself from the covers and rested his body against the backboard of the bed. He pulled his knees up and arms wrapped protectively around his legs. Yoosung took the time to finally gauge his surroundings, something he hadn’t been able to do until now. His eyes scanned the room and immediately stopped at a window. 

_ Wait...what? _

Shutters were connected to the dark, reddish wood of the frame and closed tightly shut. In between the shutters was a sliver of light, sneaking in and leaving a pale streak across the carpet. Yoosung dropped his hands to the bed and leaned forward, trying to control the excitement he felt growing in his throat. He questioned to himself how he hadn’t even noticed it until now.

The environment outside wasn’t visible, but the lazy dancing of spotted shadows on the strip of light told Yoosung they were in a forested place, just like the last. It wasn’t the same as the mint eye building, they had abandoned that place on day one. There was no telling where he was taken, or even if it was close from the previous place. Yoosung had been drugged before they left, a memory he had since attempted to block out. Once he had pulled himself out of the drugs’ effect, he was already in a foreign basement which he would spend (in what he assumed to be) the next few months in.

Now he was above ground again. Of course he already knew that when Saeran brought him up for a bath, but Yoosung hadn’t quite registered that he was closer to the outdoors than ever before. The boy had been in that basement so long that reality outside of his surroundings had started to feel like a distant dream. Now that he could see sunlight, even just a little, the dream was beginning to break apart and reality was peeking through once more.

Yoosung crawled across the surface to the edge of the bed and stared at the possible escape route. Thoughts and questions began to swarm. Was it locked? Were they close enough to civilization? What if he got caught? Did he even dare risk it? Even if it was possible, he wouldn’t be able to know for sure unless he checked, and even if he did get up to check, he’d have to…

The hope on Yoosungs face fell. He turned his gaze to the knot of his leash on the bedpost.

_ That’s right, the tape. _

He wouldn’t be able to go check the window unless he broke the tape to untie the leash, and Saeran’s threat still bounced around in his mind. Maybe this was a test, or a trap, to see if Yoosung would actually attempt anything. There was also the possibility of hidden cameras in the room. It was a bit of a stretch, but knowing Saeran, Yoosung wouldn’t put it past him. Plus, it did make sense if he wanted to keep someone kidnapped to stay in place.

Paranoia started to cloud him. Yoosung feverishly shook his head as if to rid his troubled mind of these thoughts, but it only brought another thought to the forefront. The promise Saeran made to him.

_ ‘You live, become loyal to me, and I won’t do anything to the RFA.’ _

“Ugh…” Yoosung put a hand to his forehead as though the memory physically pained him. He felt ashamed that this wasn’t the first thing he thought of, and that it took him this long to think about it. He was no hero, as badly as he tried to be. Yoosung wanted to be brave for the people he held dear. He wanted to be dependable, he wanted to be the selfless sun for others as Rika was for him…but it was so hard. If anyone in the RFA got hurt because of his cowardice he’d never be able to look them in the eye again. Then again, he doubted that even if he found a way to escape and keep them safe, he still wouldn’t be able to look them in the eye.

  
  


A loud slam punched Yoosungs eardrums, interrupting his inner dilemma and making him yelp in surprise. He quickly threw himself back away from the edge of the bed and saw Saeran bursting in.

_ Oh god. Were there really cameras?  _

Yoosungs throat closed up in fear at the cause of the sudden intrusion, but Saeran didn’t seem to have his eyes set on him.

“I’ve had enough of this.” The man's harsh voice pierced through Yoosungs ears, causing him to shrink further back. Saeran began to feverishly pace the room as he spoke.

“Everyday I work so hard to find them, but it’s like they want to lose me. Me! I did all of the important tasks, how could my savior just…” he stopped and pressed his hands against his own temples with a groan. Yoosung could only sit there, shivering and confused. He had no idea what he was talking about, and truthfully he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to. He had heard of this savior from Saeran from time to time, and the more he heard about them, the more he grew to fear them. The way Saeran spoke about her painted enough of an image that Yoosung knew she was bad news, and he hoped he’d never have the misfortune of meeting her.

“It’s tiring, do you know that?” Saeran continued without even glancing at Yoosung. “I have to go back and forth, working until my head feels like it’s splitting open, and taking care of your pathetic self.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. “Shit...this headache is killing me. If only you were of more use, you could help me out.” He finally turned his head to look at Yoosung. His eyes flicked up and down his frame, making Yoosung feel a little too exposed once again. He winced as Saerans eyes narrowed with bitter amusement. Saeran didn’t say anything, but Yoosung could get a small grasp on what he was thinking. He would train Yoosung to help him out with whatever he was doing, if not for the lack of trust. They both knew it was a high possibility of Yoosung attempting to reach out for help if he had access to a computer.

The expression on Saerans face shifted as he noticed the look of momentary panic and guilt Yoosung was trying to mask. The sheets on the bed were bunched together near the end of the bed, and the awkward position Yoosung had frozen as he had fallen back in a hurry. Saerans eyes narrowed further and Yoosung could’ve sworn he saw them grow icier.

“What were you doing?”

Yoosung felt all the blood rush to his head as he desperately tried to come up with an excuse. “Um, I...I wasn’t..um…”

Saeran stepped forward. Yoosung felt a moment of panic, which turned to relief when Saeran only went to inspect the tape. Of course it remained unbroken and untouched, but he wasn’t satisfied. The tape snapped in a flash as Saeran removed it and undid the knot. With a harsh yank Yoosung felt the collar tighten and pull him off the bed. He landed on his shoulder with a painful groan and tried to ignore the stinging coming from his irritated neck wounds.

“Get up.”

Yoosung obediently did as told and struggled to his feet. His knees nearly buckled underneath him right away when his ass finally let him know just how sore it was. Saeran saw the discomfort but only gave a dark smile, lips slightly parted. This was a completely different Saeran then the one who came running in and held him after the nightmare. The suspicious concern had reverted back to something dark and sinister. Saeran tugged the leash once more and forced Yoosung to stagger after him as they headed to a set of doors that Yoosung presumed to be a closet. Saeran’s arm jerked to the side once more and forced Yoosung to stumble in front of him, facing said doors. Sure enough, Saeran opened them to reveal a surprisingly minimal amount of clothes. The clothes weren’t what he was going for, no, it was the interior of the door. Hanging directly on it was a full body mirror. The sudden reflection caught Yoosung by surprise and made him jolt, eliciting an uncharacteristically low laugh from Saeran.

The image in front of Yoosung was enough to make himself instantly taste bile and look away in a hurry. A breath escaped him as Saerans hand closed on his jaw turned his head forward again.

At least in the bathroom he could avoid looking in the mirror. He had a feeling he wouldn’t like what he would see, and he was right. There stood Yoosung, thinner than he’d ever been before and marked to all hell. His bleached locks had grown out quite a bit and hung lifelessly around his face, and the dark shade of his natural color peeked through in his roots. The clothes he had been given were a tad larger than he needed. They hung on his frail frame, and Yoosung wondered if Saeran gave him a size too big on purpose to make him look small. Bruises and marks littered his skin where the clothes weren’t covering, he didn't even want to know what he looked like underneath. His cheeks had lost a lot of their fullness, but it didn’t take away his innocent boyish appearance. Sadly it still gave him a sickly appearance that made his stomach churn in discomfort.

The shirt shifted as Saeran wrapped his arms around Yoosungs waist and pulled him close. He felt Saeran press up against his back as he rested his chin on Yoosungs shoulder. The two men stared at the sight in front of them, one with a look of horror and the other with a look of content.

“Look at you, you’re so beautiful, if only the whole world could see you like this.” Saeran purred into Yoosungs ear. “But at the same time, I just want to keep all of you to myself.”

Yoosungs head tilted to the side as Saeran nuzzled into him. It took everything in his control to not fold over and vomit on the carpet. He figured his appearance had changed, but he had no idea it changed this much. Yoosung could barely recognize himself, and it mortified him. Saeran didn’t acknowledge the immense discomfort, he only whispered praise and compliments into Yoosungs ear. His breath was soft and tickled his ear, but Yoosung didn’t even flinch. Although he was no longer being forced to look, he couldn’t seem to turn away. The feeling of Saeran’s hand sneaking under his shirt barely even registered to Yoosung, he almost didn’t notice it. Saerans movements were as gentle as before, but with a completely different feeling. They didn’t have a concern for Yoosung, they were only searching for self gratification, regardless of Yoosungs feelings.

There wasn’t any resistance as Saeran pressed his lips against the side of Yoosungs head and hands traveled further up his sides. It was only when the shirt began to rise with Saerans hands did Yoosung look away from his reflection. He didn’t want to see anything else underneath his clothing that would make him feel worse about himself. Luckily Saeran was too distracted to notice. The feeling of skin on skin wasn’t foreign, but that didn’t make it any more welcome. He felt Saeran nibble on his earlobe in a way that made a chill run down his spine. His body was reacting again, further disconnecting it from his mind.

Emotionally, Yoosung felt numb. Physically, he felt Saerans touches and gentle bites. Hands ran across Yoosungs chest underneath his shirt. Momentary disgust made Yoosung grimace as he felt Saerans fingers begin to rub circles around his nipples. The whispers of praise continued as Saeran pressed his body closer against Yoosungs back. He felt Saerans excitement begin to poke him, and a dejected sigh escaped Yoosung.

Saeran glanced up at the mirror once more to see Yoosung with his head tilted to the side to make room for Saerans, and slightly hanging forward, eyes closed. To Saeran, nothing could compare to this.

“You are absolutely stunning, just like a princess.” His lip curled in amusement when Yoosung winced and subtly strained his eyebrows together at the emasculating term. “Look.”

With great hesitation, Yoosung opened his eyes again. Peering in the mirror, his eyes met with Saeran's icey blues.

“I don’t think you realize just how pretty you are.” Saeran mumbled into his ear as his hands ran back down his sides to rest on his hips.

“You’ve become such a good pet, I hope it stays this way. I can treat you well, you just need to prove yourself to me.”

Yoosung dropped his eyes in the mirror and watched as Saeran’s hands got bolder, touchier. He already had one of the drawstrings of his sweats wrapped around his finger. Yoosung wished Saeran had given him pants that weren’t so easy to remove, then again he had a sneaky suspicion that was exactly why Saeran chose these pants.

The numb feeling was beginning to wane off as Saerans' touch pulled him back up to reality. Desperately, Yoosung attempted to hold on to that numb feeling, at least until Saeran was done with whatever he was about to do, but it was like trying to keep sand in his hands. The hand still on his hip tightened as the other teased the drawstring.

“I want you to watch.”

It wasn’t a request, it was a demand. Yoosung has no choice but to do as told as Saeran slowly pushed down the waistband, along with the briefs.

“You’re already a little hard, you get excited just from being touched. It’s so cute ~”

Saeran’s hand curled around Yoosungs shaft. Yoosung felt his knees go weak at the touch and momentarily wobbled. The hand on his hip disappeared under his shirt again and slid back up to his chest. It pressed him closer to Saeran to keep him steady. Now with his shirt ridden up and pants tugged down, Yoosung had way too much showing. A whimper escaped as Saeran lightly pinched the tip of Yoosungs growing hardon. The wet feeling of Saeran’s tongue on his neck above the collar sent another chill through his body. His knees nearly gave out again when Saeran began to pump him and his vision cut off as he shut his eyes. A sharp pinch on his nipple made them shoot open again.

“I said to watch.” Saeran scolded. His fingers didn’t leave his chest, instead they continued to tease and stimulate the sensitive pink nub. Yoosung raised his unsteady hands as though to remove Saeran’s, but they made no further movements.

“Wait, not there..” he fussed. A gasp got drawn out as Saeran gave it a twist.

“What’s that? You like it there?” He continued to tease the sensitive area as his other hand gave Yoosung's erection a light squeeze. 

“Hh-” Yoosung clenched his fists together to prevent himself from grabbing Saerans arms and pulling them away from his body. A high giggle tickled his ear, making him grit his teeth. 

The mirror didn’t hide any details, Yoosung could see everything in front of him. Saeran’s thumb rubbed across his slit which made Yoosung jolt at the sudden feeling. All he could do was watch as he stood in Saerans arms, one hand up his shirt and his other hand jacking him off. He couldn’t escape the sights, not with Saeran watching. It was hard to choose what to focus on, none of the options were favorable. It made Yoosungs stomach clench to see mixtures of pleasure and discomfort in his own face. Looking at Saerans face wasn’t any easier, the bastard looked way too ecstatic about this, and was staring with unfiltered hunger. Yoosung decided to settle on watching the hand working him up. It twisted around his cock with each pump and eliciting erotic sounds of skin on skin.

An unbearable warmth began to grow in between Yoosungs legs and made it difficult for him to stay on his feet. That, and his ass was beginning to feel even more sore the longer he stood. Yoosung hadn’t realized it but at some point he ended up leaning back into Saeran for support, and Saeran absolutely accepted this.

A hiccup momentarily capsized Yoosungs chest. The situation wasn’t surprising, but that didn’t make it any less scary. Frightened of his own body, he began to feel his climax building up. Any attempt to hide the signs were lost as the overwhelming heat ran through his lower body. The fight against the growing pressure pushed erotic sounds out of his lungs that would make anyone blush upon hearing them.

“You sure know how to make such lewd noises, you’re doing that on purpose, aren’t you?” Saeran lightly bit the shell of Yoosungs ear.

“hh-eeK!” Yoosungs back arched in surprise at the feeling. The momentary drop of his guard allowed his climax to overtake him. A loud whine spilled out as all of his weight fell back onto Saeran, who gladly held him up. He watched as Yoosungs seed spurted out and dirty the mirror. The boy's body shivered in his arms with each shot, each one growing less intense than the last. His moans died down to whimpers.

Satisfied, Saeran let Yoosung sink to the floor. The rush of the orgasm left him breathless and dizzy, making Yoosung have to lean forward on his hands for a moment. When he looked back up to the mirror he saw lines of his cum sliding down like pearly beads over the reflection of his own face. Through the fuzz, Yoosung felt something dark stir in his mind. He wasn’t sure what exactly this darkness was, or where it was originating from. He could only stare back at himself with tired eyes as the dark feeling flickered.

“You’re already spent?” Saeran dropped down behind Yoosung and put a hand on Yoosungs mop of blonde. “You really are cute, but we aren’t finished.” The hand on his head pushed him forward and Yoosung found himself nose to nose with himself.

“When puppy makes a mess, puppy needs to clean it up.”

_ Ugh, puppy? _

It took everything in Yoosung's willpower not to physically cringe at Saeran’s words. In any other context Yoosung would have loved to be referred to as a puppy, but this was just ridiculous.

“What...do you mean?” He feigned innocence as he desperately searched for a way out. 

“ _ What do you think? _ Come now, we both know you’re not  _ that _ dense.” There was an amusement in Saerans tone. He knew exactly what Yoosung was trying to do, and it only seemed to be a game to Saeran. There was definitely no way out of this one. Yoosung opened his mouth with a shaky breath. There was a moment of falter before he extended his tongue and began to lap at his mess. Humiliation burned deep inside. Just when Yoosung thought Saeran couldn’t come up with more ways to degrade him, he’d be subjected to something new and so much worse than the last. Truthfully Yoosung had tasted himself once before, mainly out of curiosity, but it wasn’t a pleasant experience so he had dropped it immediately. It merely didn’t peak his interest and he didn’t like the taste, which was bitter thanks to his gamer diet. It wasn’t that he necessarily had a problem with it, at least not until he was being forced to. Now it just felt disgusting. From behind, Saeran moved a hand to Yoosungs cheek and gently turned his face to the side.

“Hmph-” Yoosungs' noise got cut off when Saeran suddenly kissed him. It made him flinch back at the sudden contact. He knew Saeran could taste Yoosungs cum as the man's tongue explored the deepest parts of his mouth. It almost seemed like that was his intention. Wondering which was worse, kissing Saeran or licking his mess, was a good temporary distraction.

Yoosung felt Saerans grip before he was turned around and quickly had his back pressed against the mirror. The door clattered against the wall as Saeran shuffled closer and shifted Yoosungs body up to where he was sitting on Saeran’s knees. The blonde gripped the carpet tightly and knew the leftover cum on the mirror was now getting smeared into the back of his hair. Saeran didn’t know or didn’t care, both were plausible. Greed and lust was his only drive right now, this was a man who was only searching for his own satisfaction. He held Yoosungs face tightly in between his hands as the kiss only deepened. Both men simultaneously groaned, for different reasons. This seemed to further rile Saeran up more. Yoosung whimpered into his mouth at the aggression before gasping as his hips were suddenly yanked forward, dropping his head further down the mirror's surface with Saeran’s kiss quickly following. Saeran's clothed erection slid up against Yoosungs bare length. Although he had his eyes closed, he felt Saerans mouth spread into a devilish grin, teeth now pressed against his lips.

“Hmm, already hard again just from kissing. You’re turning into quite the slut,” The white haired man quietly laughed. Yoosung felt his heart clench from shame. Was he truly liking this? The first few times Saeran got sexual with Yoosung it took more effort to get him aroused. Now it seemed that it was taking a little less. Desperately hoping this wasn’t the case, he refused to respond. 

Saeran firmly held Yoosungs hips as he began to slowly grind into him, letting him drop further down the mirror and pulling more whimpers out of the boy. Yoosung had already come, causing him to begin to feel the effects of overstimulation. He gently placed a hand against Saerans shoulders but refrained from pushing, knowing Saeran wouldn't take kindly to being rejected.

“Saeran, wait a minute, this is...hn, too mu-uch,”

His plea’s went unheard and the harsh fabric continued to slide against Yoosung. The hand still on the ground gripped the carpet tighter as they began to dry hump. Looking into Saeran’s eyes, he saw the animalistic desire and knew there was no stopping him until he was finished. Eager fingers ran through Yoosung's hair. They closed and pulled him in again, this time Saeran’s teeth chomped down on his shoulder. Yoosung gurgled in pain and forgot to restrain himself. Both his hands flew up in between the two boys and harshly pushed as best he could, but it only made Saeran bite down harder. Yoosungs frenzied screams filled Saerans ears and the taste of metal trickled across his tongue. He refused to let go while he used both hands to frantically undo his own belt.

“ _ Please!! _ Saeran! Master!! Please stop, **_it hurts!_ ** ” Yoosung sobbed. He begged, using any way possible, even if he had to refer to him as his master. If that’s what it would take, he would sacrifice a little bit of his pride to stop this unbearable pain. Saeran’s canines unlatched from Yoosungs mistreated skin, earning a sob of relief. He gently licked the wound as he pulled out his rigid cock, precum already hanging from the tip. Yearning for release, Saeran’s hand closed in a fist around both of their lengths.

“Hng- '' Yoosungs face contorted as Saeran began to furiously pump them both in one hand. Yoosung curled his body inward at the feeling with his mouth hung open to make room for his ragged breaths. Unintelligible words spilled out in what was supposed to be begging for mercy, but the overstimulation was stealing his focus. Saeran hooked a finger under Yoosungs chin and tilted his face up. The man admired how Yoosung couldn’t focus his gaze on anything, his eyelids flickered and deep purples struggled to stay still. Without removing the finger from underneath his chin, he kissed the corner of Yoosungs open mouth.

“Are you going to cum again, little whore?” He cooed. Yoosung responded with a long, drawn-out whine, unable to answer in comprehensible words. “Shit…” Saerans body responded strongly to this sound. His hand sped up between the two which caused Yoosung to straighten his back and cry out in surprise. Without warning, he released onto himself and Saeran. Although he had already come, this load seemed to be bigger than the previous one. Shivering and whimpering, all he could do was let the waves of his climax pulse through his muscles. Saeran didn’t take long to follow. He unraveled over Yoosung with primal moans and jerks of his pelvis. His free hand slipped underneath Yoosung to hold him closer up by the small of his back. Their flushed bodies held together and undone. 

The hand holding both of their lengths, now sticky and wet, slowly let them go. Even this small movement made Yoosung twitch and whine in discomfort. Saeran laughed and cupped the boy's cheeks with his messy hands.

“You’re so cute, look at you moaning like a little whore for me.” Disregarding Yoosungs weak denials, Saeran gave him a sweet kiss. “So pretty…” he murmured against his lips.

Slowly, senses began to return to Yoosung as Saeran scooped him up in his arms. It took a little bit of a struggle to stand up while holding Yoosungs' spent body, but he managed to get to his feet and walked over to the bed. Yoosung expected to be dropped down onto it, but to his surprise Saeran set him down with unexpected gentleness. It wasn’t unwelcome, but definitely confusing. Saeran had a dangerously unpredictable pattern of being ruthless with Yoosung, then doing a complete 180 and treating him with shocking consideration. It made Yoosungs' already spinning head only spin faster. He tried to ignore it, for now his senses were already overwhelmed. Exhaustion pulled his eyelids shut for him and he gladly welcomed the rest in the soft bed.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think I use Yoosung’s crying emoticon for reference of his sex noises, you are 100% correct.
> 
> Also, apologies this took so long to get out, I got hit with writers block and I hurt my dominant arm pretty badly :( I basically typed all this up with one hand. I hope it was worth the wait though!


	9. If I like it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning:  
> -GRAPHIC rape
> 
> Massive trigger warning: there is heavy gaslighting and can be really upsetting for some readers. This is nasty fetish fuel/thriller, but please stop reading if it gets too much for you. The last thing I want is to hurt someone with this fic.

Yoosung lay as a shivering, panting mess from the overload of senses. Saeran stared down at him on the bed. Oops, he went a little overboard.

Saeran could be exceptionally perceptive when he wanted to, he knew Yoosung was looking at the window earlier, not that he would be able to use it. Iron bars had been installed on the outside to prevent anything from coming in or coming out. Still, it was fun to let the boy hope. Although, seeing Yoosung even considering escape made something in Saeran stir and snarl possessively. He bent down and brushed a lock of hair away from Yoosungs damp forehead and planted a kiss. The boy groaned and turned his head away, making Saeran frown.

_Brat._

This wasn’t the response Saeran wanted, he expected Yoosung to at least show a little respect like he usually did. Perhaps he fried his brain.

“We really let your hair grow out, how about a haircut later. Okay?” Saeran suggested. Yoosung could only nod. Saeran sat down on the edge of the bed with his hand still in the other boy's hair, absentmindedly rolling the locks in between his fingers. No answer came from Yoosung as Saeran stared at him in silence. 

“Why do you still resist me?” Saeran inquired thoughtfully. Yoosung sluggishly opened his eyes again to look blankly across the room. Agitation flickered in Saeran at the expressionless attitude, but stayed quiet with his eyes trained on his pet. A moment passed before Yoosung turned his head to Saeran and startled with realization that the man was expecting him to say something.

“Oh,” Yoosungs eyes averted as he clearly tried to gather a safe answer. Unfortunately, he seemed to have trouble deciding on one. “...I don’t know.”

“Bullshit.” The fingers in his hair tightened and yanked back. A distressed sound spilled out of Yoosung at the harsh treatment while the collar clanked in defiance. Saeran slipped his fingers underneath and expertly unlatched the complex latch. The black leather pinched between his fingers as he slid the undone collar off. The mixture of purples, reds, and greened bruises spotting Yoosungs unhealthily pale skin was left exposed and vulnerable. With the collar set aside, Saeran was able to drag his fingertips across the vibrant marks. He saw Yoosungs Adam’s apple momentarily quiver. It was quite the delectable reaction.

Yoosung clenched his hands into tight fists, unbeknownst to Saeran who was too enamored by Yoosungs neck. The fingers traveled down to his shoulder and Saeran noticed the goosebumps spreading as a result. He gently pressed his fingertips against the bite marks he had left, one merely a bruise whereas the other had broken skin. The bed creaked as Saeran bent over and planted a kiss on the wound. When he sat back up, Yoosung still wasn’t looking at him. Disappointed, Saeran let go of his hair.

“I’m giving you something nice, what do you say?”

“Ah...thank you.”

Any expression of emotion was lost. A large contribution to that was due to being overworked, and Saeran knew this, but it didn’t make him any less aggravated. He was going to have to teach his pup to give him what he wanted, when he wanted it.

In one swift movement, Saeran had himself kneeling down in between Yoosungs bare legs. Grasping his inner thighs, Saeran harshly pushed his legs open. Yoosungs breath caught in his throat as he reached out to push Saerans hands away.

“Wait, at least give me a second to catch my breath,” he gasped out. “I’m still recovering!” Multiple parts of his body were still throbbing and his head hadn’t stopped spinning. Saeran pushed his legs further apart and bent over to drag his tongue up Yoosungs abdomen.

“Hrng- “ Yoosung lifted his arm to press the back of his fist against his own mouth as he tried to hold in any sounds that Saeran would like. 

“Are you still clean down there?” Saeran made sure Yoosung could feel his hot breath on his skin as he spoke.

“I haven’t needed to go…” Yoosung reluctantly answered. “I haven’t even had water-eeP-!” His words were cut off as Saeran gripped the back of Yoosungs thighs and pushed them up to where his knees were at chest level. Yoosung squirmed against him as he realized he probably could’ve lied to get out of this. Too little too late, Saeran already had his fingers pressing up against the sore ring of muscle. Yoosung turned his head to the side to stare at the wall as tears began to sting his eyes. Eager fingers worked on Yoosungs hole once more, coaxing his body to anticipate what was about to come. The only thing Yoosung could think of to do was to grit his teeth and go along with whatever his detainer wanted. Something hot and slimy made contact, causing a jolt of electricity to shoot up his spine. Appalled, Yoosung stared down at Saeran, and it made Saeran grin triumphantly to finally get such a reaction. He pressed his tongue against Yoosungs entrance once more and twisted it in a way that Yoosung could feel all of.

“Wh-what the hell?” Yoosung snapped out of his bewilderment and managed to catch his foot on Saerans shoulder, successfully kicking him off. Maniacal laughter erupted from Saeran as he fell back. The distance was short lived, Saeran launched himself forward again and snatched Yoosungs thin wrists. He pressed them down hard into the mattress, much too tight. Looming over Yoosung, Saerans hair shrouded his face in an eerie shadow. Yoosung had only seen the creepy little smirks and simpers, but right now a face-splitting grin was spread at an uncanny distance.

**_“Did you just fucking kick me?”_ **

The blood visibly drained from Yoosungs face as his eyes widened to the shape of saucers. Paled lips parted to try and speak, to apologize, but nothing came out. The pure bestial look that was dripping from Saerans gaze strangled the words before they even came out of Yoosungs mouth. The distressing grip on his wrists moved to his hips. A scream erupted from Yoosung as he was yanked closer and he finally found his words.

“I’m sorry!! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he began to sob from unadulterated fear as Saerans belt came off in a swift motion. It clanked intimidatingly as Saeran snatched Yoosungs wrists again and nimbly wrapped them together with it, ignoring his pleas. “Saeran, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I won’t do it again! I’ll do whatever you want, please forgive me, _please!!_ ” The begging began to turn into partially unintectual blubbering as Saeran pressed the head of his cock against Yoosungs entry.

_When did he take that out?!_

Yoosungs hips were lifted into the air as Saeran pushed himself inside. Surprise and pain tore out in a shriek as Yoosungs back arched at the intrusion. The movements stopped there as Saeran let Yoosungs rectum adjust to his size in order to properly move.

“Please, p-please at least use l-lube,” Yoosung wailed as he furiously wiped tears away with his bound hands. “It hurts so much...please…”

Saeran didn’t respond as he tried to push in further, drawing out another scream. Fortunately for Yoosung, it appeared Saeran wouldn’t be able to do much of anything if he didn’t comply. He pulled out as quickly as he had pushed in, making Yoosung cry out again.

“You’re lucky you’re too tight to do anything right now.” Saeran hissed as he snatched the bottle of lube that still stood on the bedside table. In impatience, Saeran squeezed out an excessive amount into his hand. He gave himself a few good strokes and made sure to lather himself up enough before spreading the rest of it over Yoosungs hole.

“Relax or it’ll hurt more.” Saeran barely warned him before he began to push in again. Since there was very little preparation, it still sent a shockwave through the boy. He gritted his teeth and threw his head back into the pillows with short ragged breathing. No time was wasted as Saeran held Yoosungs hips up in the air as he began to mercilessly pound into him. Yoosungs shoulders dug into the bed with each thrust making the whole frame creak in resistance.

The lube made it significantly easier and more durable, so thankfully the pain was a lot less. Yoosung held his hands in fists against his chest as Saeran had his way with him, hoping he’d get all of his aggression out in one go. Saeran fell forward and tongued at a nipple without slowing his movements. The sensation of his hand slipping up Yoosungs lower back seemed to reverberate through his entire body. Not seconds later Saeran had found that special spot inside Yoosung that made his vision blank out every time he hit it. Shameful moans of involuntary pleasure tore out alongside his sobs, it made him feel strangely chilled. Who knew you could feel so cold in such a heated plight?

“My pet, my toy, you’re mine,” Yoosung heard Saeran mumbling against him. “Mine, mine, mine,” the chanting filled Yoosungs ears and echoed in his mind. Yoosungs hand twitched as he tried to speak, but only a mumble came out.

“What was that, puppy?”

“My hands…”

“Hm?”

“I can’t feel my hands.”

Saeran pushed himself up to look at the belt around Yoosungs wrists. Sure enough, Yoosungs poor hands had discoloration. In Saerans blinded rage he had wrapped the belt on much too tight. He took them up and planted a kiss on his fingers before undoing the belt and letting it slide off. Yoosung clutched his hands close to his own chest as the prickling sensation spread with the newfound circulation. Saeran could see marks on his wrists from the harsh bondage, and unabashedly hoped they would stay.

“Tell me, do you not feel this connection we’ve built?” Sweet words oozed out of Saerans mouth as he kissed the markings. Yoosung grimaced at the thought of holding any sort of bond with this man, it was a vile thought. Of course, he couldn’t voice his true opinion over this.

“Yeah...I do.” He managed to choke out.

“Hm...that doesn’t sound very convincing, little lamb.” The condescension in Saerans tone was very evident as he spoke. “Why don’t you tell me what you’re really thinking?” His fingers trailed over the bruises on Yoosungs neck once more. The possibility of having true freedom to speak his mind made Yoosung gulp. It was nice...but he had already pissed Saeran off. This was most likely a ploy to bring his guard down so he could slash at him again.

“I r-really do.” Yoosung responded quietly. The fingers on his neck slowly began to press down on the bruises, a warning. It made them throb.

“I’m telling you to tell me what you really think, not what you think I want to hear.” Saeran snarled. Unease bled in with the fear Yoosung was already being subjected to.

“I...don’t.” He spoke nearly inaudibly, clearly not wanting Saeran to hear it. However he had demanded the truth, so Yoosung had no choice but to give it.

“Why?”

“...I don’t...like this.” Yoosung tread his words carefully.

“But you feel good, I know you do.” Saeran said as he slid a hand between their bodies and gave Yoosungs' member a squeeze. Barely managing to choke back a groan, Yoosung still wasn’t able to hide how honest his body was to this kind of touch. His whole body had jolted at the touch, making Saeran giggle.

This wasn’t a complete lie, but it was an involuntary truth.

“I don’t want to, I don’t want this at all.” Yoosung began to dig his nails into his own palms, but Saeran took a hold of them and made him open his fingers.

“How can you not want it when you feel it? You’re choosing to feel good, 

I can’t force your body to react to me.” The hold on Yoosungs fingers pulled away. “This is all you.”

“Hrg....” To Yoosung, it felt like Saeran’s words were physically piercing into him. His hands clutched at his heart. It was difficult to fight the urge to claw out these conflicting feelings that relentlessly tore into Yoosungs chest.

“You poor thing, how about you try to enjoy this today?” The suggestion was sweet, but Yoosung knew Saeran was still in a very dark part of his own mind after getting kicked and rejected. It was possessive, angry. “It’s your choice if you want to like it or not.”

With this said, Saeran gripped his hips and began to move inside him again. Since he already found where Yoosungs sweet spot was, he was able to focus on it. Each thrust tugged a shaky, tired moan out of Yoosungs throat.

Maybe...maybe if he enjoyed this, then it wouldn’t hurt his heart so much.

Yoosungs trembling arms raised with uncertainty and wrapped around Saeran’s neck. He didn’t pull him closer, but rather rested there. The wet sensation of Saeran's tongue on Yoosungs neck made him shiver.

“Mm…” A whimper stifled behind Yoosungs lips as Saeran didn’t stop his movements. Eyelids slid closed as he tried to ignore how uncomfortable he was. If Yoosung looked past his body aches and mental agony, then he could enjoy this. He was tired of always being afraid, of feeling self contempt. Any other emotions were welcome, anything but what he’s been relentlessly exposed to for a disturbing amount of time.

A particular jerk of Saeran’s hips made Yoosung throw his head back in a gasp. The arms around Saeran’s neck tightened on impulse and tugged him closer. Canines dragged across Yoosungs sensitive neck, sending a shiver of terror through him.

By now, hot tears were endlessly rolled down Yoosungs face as he held Saeran closer and weeped into his shoulder. There was a slight shift in mood as Saeran gently sucked on his neck while rocking his hips into Yoosung. The roughness and anger was still in Saeran’s actions, but calmed enough to be endurable. It felt...good. Shame and fear of his own body clouded Yoosungs psyche and escaped through sobs. Fingers curled in Saerans hair tightly as his hips rocked up in time with his attackers movements. He turned his head to the side as Saeran ran his tongue up Yoosungs cheek, tasting the salt in his tears. By now he had adjusted well to the invasion and the pain was slowly ebbing away, replaced by unfiltered pleasure. Each onslaught of Saerans thrusts brought Yoosung deeper into bitter bliss. His hands traveled down and his fingernails dug into Saerans back, unaware of the red stripes they were leaving. 

“Ah..hah…haah…AH..AAH…!!” More of Yoosungs cerebral walls began to crumble as he was finally able to let out months of pent up anguish through his moans. Even during their kiss where he had tried to imagine someone else, Yoosung still had most of his guards up. However, he currently had more freedom with his voice, he could scream it out without a worry for repercussions or punishment, and so he did just that. Bottled up emotions rushed up and violently burst free. Wailing moans only ramped up as Saeran sat up, still gripping tightly to Yoosungs hips just above where his legs were spread, leaning back and fucking him like an animal in heat. Yoosung gripped the sheets tightly near his head and screamed as Saeran went deeper then he’d ever gone before. He could feel his own hardon throbbing and begging for attention, but he didn’t want to touch himself, it felt like it would be a total and complete resignation of himself over to Saeran.

Despite not touching himself, Yoosung still felt his edge creeping up on him. Inner stimulation was still new territory for the boy, but it was extremely effective. Feeling Saeran's cock gliding inside and against that special bundle of nerve endings sent Yoosung precariously closer and closer to the edge until he couldn’t take it anymore.

A mortifyingly embarrassing squeal erupted from Yoosung as came for the first time without anything touching his dick. His entire body shook in Saerans grasp as he emptied all over himself once more. His senses heightened momentarily, causing his toes to curl with his quivering legs held up. Saeran didn’t stop, he continued to fuck his pet through the orgasm, pulling out loud whimpering moans. He watched as Yoosungs' length jumped with each projectile of cum, each less powerful than the last. The sight of his prisoner cumming from him was enough to send him spilling over the edge as well. The white-haired man fell forward with his hands planted firmly against the mattress as his hips rocked forward with each shot of ecstasy. His head hung forward and jaw slacked open with his back arched like a cats. Carnal sounds spilled from deep in his throat out into the open.

Both men slowly came back to their senses, basking in the afterglow. Yoosung could still feel Saeran twitching inside of him in short intervals. Barely mustering up the energy, Yoosung was able to drag his own arm up and draped it over his own face. His body ached, but felt weightless at the same time. Eventually, Saeran pulled himself out of Yoosung. Yoosung could feel something wet spill out as soon as he became unplugged. Normally he’d have some kind of mixed negative reaction, but he was much, much too tired to care. Underneath his arm, Yoosung let his heavy eyelids fall.

Saeran curiously swiped a finger over the little stream of cum leaking out of Yoosung. It looked oddly pretty to him, this was something that only _he_ could leave on this fragile body. This belonged to him, all of it in it’s pitifully dependent glory.

“Hey.” His voice came out husky, breathless. “Hey, boy.” he started again and bent over Yoosung when he didn’t answer. The shift of weight on the mattress caused Yoosungs arm to slide off his face and reveal that he had fainted from exhaustion. 

“Ah, shit.” 

_How annoying._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I’ve started to master typing with one hand. Thank you to those who wished my arm to feel better, it was really sweet to read your concerns! I just wanted to let you know I appreciate it
> 
> A song I listened to while writing this is Host by Ada Rook. I’ve actually accumulated a small playlist of songs I listen to while writing and to inspire me. Feel free to leave any song suggestions too!


	10. Haircut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content warning:
> 
> -Talk of coerced rape  
> -Mentions of nonconsensual touching while unconscious

“Hrg…”

Searing pain was the first thing Yoosung became aware of when he came to. The throbbing in his head was enough to cause a pinch behind his eyes painful enough where it seemed to echo through his skull. Blindly raising a hand, Yoosung fumbled before he was able to find his own head and pressed the palm against it as though to compress the pain.

“Oh, you woke up quicker than I thought,” a familiar voice pierced his ears. Cracking an eye open, Yoosung tried to find where Saeran was. He found that he wasn’t in the bedroom anymore. Disoriented, it took him a moment to realize he was back in the cursed basement. His hand laying at his side twitched before spreading his fingers to feel sheets underneath them. He didn’t have sheets before, and the surface he was on didn’t feel like his usual stiff mattress. It still wasn’t the comfiest, but definitely an upgrade. His touch moved to the clothes on his body. Unable to recall dressing himself, he figured it was safe to assume that Saeran had done it for him.

Finally he was able to find Saeran’s whereabouts as the man stepped into view and towered over him. Yoosung pieced together that although he was on a mattress, it was still on the ground. Saeran dropped down and flicked away a strand of hair that had been tickling Yoosungs face.

“What’s the matter, did I break you?” he teased in poor taste. Yoosung couldn’t bother to hide his grimace. Disregarding this, he had something else to say.

“My head..” 

“Hm?” Saeran tilted his head to the side, still peering down at him. “Oh, does it hurt?”

With great pain, Yoosung nodded.

“Did you want this?” Saeran lifted a plastic bottle of water. Twirling it by the mouth of the bottle, he played as though teasing a dog with a treat. It was only when Yoosung saw the water did he realize just how dry his mouth felt. Unable to recall the last time he had water, he realized his migraine probably derived from overworking his body and dehydration.

Meekly, Yoosung nodded his head. Thankfully Saeran seemed to be in a gracious mood as he twisted the cap off with a pop and helped Yoosung sit up. A sudden dull pain came from his anus and echoed up his body, and although it surely was uncomfortable, it was the least of his worries. In fact, his entire body had a massive dull ache to it.

With one hand pressing against Yoosungs back to hold him up Saeran held the bottle to his lips and tilted it up. The cool liquid washed over his dry tongue and slid down his scratchy throat. It felt like absolute heaven. Greedily he gulped down the water as fast as his body allowed him to.

“Slow down, you’re going to ch-” Saeran’s words were cut off by a mini geyser of water rocketing across the mattress. He sighed heavily as Yoosung was overtaken by a wet coughing fit, bending over himself and shoulders shaking as he hacked up the liquid he accidentally inhaled. “You airhead, I can’t even let you drink water on your own, can I?” He scolded as he roughly pat Yoosungs back. 

“S-so-rry-” Yoosung managed to choke out. The fit had caused the migraine to start buzzing, making his vision blurred. Tucking his face down and holding his head, it was a sore sight for Saeran. It made him wonder if he ever looked that pathetic during his own migraine episodes.

“Idiot, it’s like you're trying to show me how pathetic you are.” Saeran berated as the coughing fit finally died down. With great difficulty Yoosung held in any sounds of pain, his body fought him as it tried to cry, but he didn’t want to upset Saeran as soon as he woke up. Instead he lifted his head and blinked, trying to clear his vision. The cold stare from Saeran met his timid gaze, something he never really could get used to. To avoid eye contact Yoosung looked around the room. There was a change in his environment, more than just the new mattress. It appeared that when he was brought back down to the basement, Saeran had brought a stool with them. It’s cheap wood fit well with the grungy look of Yoosung's home.

A low sigh came from Saeran as he pushed the rest of the water bottle into Yoosungs hands, who looked down at it in surprise before bringing it back up to his lips, immediately forgetting about the stool.

“Careful, You can’t drink anything if you keep spitting it out” Saeran warned with a hand on Yoosungs back as the captive forced himself to drink at a slower pace. It still didn’t take long for the bottom of the cheap water bottle tipped into the air as Yoosungs tongue stole the last of the drops. Only a few seconds passed before both men heard Yoosungs stomach release a boisterous gurgle as it received the long awaited water. “Good boy.” Saeran complimented with two solid pats on the head, making Yoosung whimper as his migraine was aggravated. With a giggle Saeran pulled Yoosung into an embrace, holding the blonde’s head against his chest. 

“Stupid boy, I can’t stay mad at you, you’re just too cute.” He kissed the top of Yoosungs head. Just the thought of putting effort into resisting this was enough to exhaust Yoosung. Resigned, he gave in to the mock comfort of being in Saeran’s arms. Fingers brushed through his hair with mild difficulty, catching onto the tangles but quickly correcting themselves and moving on.

Yoosung felt a warmth brought to his face from the soothing touches. The small gesture brought him back to a time as a kid. He had been playing outside with the neighbor kids, and one of them tripped him. Those scraped knees were the most painful things that Yoosung had ever experienced. He could still see his mother running outside to scoop up her screaming child. She had brought him indoors and that was the first lesson on first aid that he had gotten. Each step was demonstrated to little Yoosung, who was perched on the bathroom counter. She explained the uses of each disinfectant and bandage as she patched up his bloody knees. He had watched with teary eyes and nervous fingers in his mouth. The incident ended with his mother holding him against her bosom, running her fingers through his hair as she hummed him into a calm state.

Except now he wasn’t being held by her, rather it was someone who made Yoosung fear for the safety of his own life on a daily basis. The scraped knees were much more welcome compared to Yoosung’s current full body markings. Longing for those days as a naive and unharmed kid made his eyes start to prick. He was so innocent to the world, nothing life-changing had happened, he didn’t even know just how fantastic that safe life was.

“Are you thinking about me?” Saerans soft voice felt harsh as it interrupted Yoosungs mournful reminiscing. The fingers in his hair stopped as Saeran bent over to press his face against the top of his head. “I didn’t know you could scream like that, it must have been heaven for you.” He purred into Yoosungs hair, tickling his scalp. It took a moment before Yoosung caught on to what Saeran was referring to, and when it did, he felt a hot wash of self loathing overcome him. 

Tainted, that was the first word that came to mind. Instinctively curling in a bit, Yoosungs body suddenly felt like it was filthy through and through. He had felt filthy before of course, when Saeran had violated him and taken things from him. However this was different, Yoosung had willingly slept with him. Be it not at first, but somewhere in the middle he had given in and allowed himself to feel good.

“You’re shaking, did you like it that much? Do you want to do it again?” Saeran kissed his head again. Yoosung was grateful that his expressions were hidden for the time being, he could only imagine the look of disgust and horror he was holding for himself. “I want to see more of that, you clinging onto me and moaning for me like the little slut you are.” The teasing made Yoosungs blood run cold. 

_ Please, please don’t talk about it. _

“I’m starting to memorize your favorite spots,” Saeran mercilessly continued with a fingertip running down the back of Yoosungs neck. “The spots that make you squirm for me.” the finger stopped at the collar of Yoosungs new shirt and bent the hem back. “You must’ve felt good, you totally passed out after you came.” He laughed as though sharing a light joke between friends.

“You didn’t even wake up when I had to clean you up, you owe me for that. Do you know what I had to do? You were so filthy I had to carry you to the bathroom and wipe off all that cum you got on yourself.” Yoosungs eyes squeezed shut, but the imagery only strengthened, bringing him to open his eyes again and continue listening to yet another tale of violation. “You naughty boy, you made me cum so hard, I had to put my fingers inside you to get it all out. You’re welcome by the way.” 

Despite being unconscious at the time of the supposed story, Yoosung could feel the ghost of Saeran’s fingers pushing inside of him. It made him want to clamp his thighs shut tighter together. 

“Did you know you can get hard even when you’re not awake? Of course, I’m sure you’ve woken up from your fair share of wet dreams, you dirty little thing.” The heavy flirting from Saeran was making Yoosung feel sick enough to where he had to press a hand over his mouth and fight the bile rising up. “I wanted to take you right then and there, but you really do have a weak body.” Saeran sighed, the disappointment apparent. “I used to have one as well, but I made myself useful, something I can’t say about you yet.”

_ Yet? _

_ No, I don’t want to think about what that means. _

Yoosung felt the slight rise of Saerans chest, preparing to continue.

“I-I’m sorry!” Yoosung stumbled on his apology. The things Saeran were talking about, he couldn’t listen to them anymore. Even if Saeran had done things to him while blacked out, Yoosung didn’t want to know. He would rather live ignorant to it than to face the possible reality. In a hurry to interrupt anything else from coming out, the first thing Yoosung could think of was to apologize. “I’m...sorry. I’ll try to do better.” 

“What are you talking about?” Saeran sounded on the brink of laughter. “What, did you want to go again?” He giggled as he slipped a hand up the back of Yoosungs shirt. He kept his hand in the dip of Yoosungs back to hold him up as Saeran leaned in with a devilish smile. The flash of alarm that snapped across Yoosungs face made him laugh. “Relax, I’m kidding. You’re too weak to do anything right now, I don’t want to completely break you.” he reassured as the hand fell away from Yoosungs back and he leaned back again. The relief was enough to make Yoosung slump forward. 

Taking a hold of Yoosungs shoulders, Saeran made him sit up so they were face to face again. The discomfort urged Yoosung to lower his head, but Saeran didn’t allow it. His hand closed over Yoosungs cheeks and tilted his head back up to look him directly in the eyes.

“Why are you sorry?”

“Uhm…” The grip partially fell over his mouth, making it a little difficult to speak properly. “I’m...weak.” 

“Hmm.” Saeran loosened the grip to slide his hand onto Yoosungs cheek. This time Yoosung was allowed to avert his eyes, but Saeran didn’t break his intimidating stare. “At least you know.”

“...Yeah.” 

Yoosung's bangs fell onto the back of Saerans hand as he lifted them away from Yoosungs eyes. 

“Do you remember what I said? About your hair?” 

“Uh...it’s getting...long?” Yoosung replied with uncertainty. Confirming with a nod, Saeran let the hair fall back down and he turned towards something behind him. Glancing around him, Yoosung saw Saeran rummaging through a satchel-looking bag. He quickly straightened his posture again as Saeran turned to him with a pair of glinting scissors in one hand and a black comb in the other. With a grunt, Saeran stood up with the tools.

“Alright, stand up.”

Obediently, Yoosung got to his feet. Unsure of what else to do he rubbed his arm and waited for further instruction. Saeran rolled his eyes.

“Airhead, do you want me to cut your hair on your bed?”

Yoosung shook his head. Just the thought of sleeping in a bed specked with hair trimmings agitating his skin made Yoosung cringe. Saeran gestured with the scissors to the middle of the room where Yoosung suddenly remembered the stool.

“Oh.” He voiced with the revelation of the stool's purpose. Yoosung stepped off the mattress and made his way over. Knowing he should feel some sort of excitement about finally getting a long awaited haircut, Yoosung was only puzzled that he felt strange as he placed his rear on the circular slab of wood on legs. He winced as he tried to find a comfortable seating with how sore his bottom was. Saeran circled around him and took a moment to examine the mess of tangles and knots in front of him. He hadn’t allowed Yoosung a brush, which Saeran was starting to regret. The tangles looked dastardly, but it couldn’t be helped. 

Expecting a harsh combing, Yoosung was surprised when Saeran began to comb with an air of gentleness. With Saeran it was always a 50/50 chance of which side Yoosung would see of him; the predatory sadist or the gentle and caring lamb. However Yoosung had gotten so accustomed to preparing for the worst that when Saeran’s sweet side came out, it always caught him off guard.

Politely keeping his hands folded over his lap, Yoosung patiently sat still. The two stayed in silence for the time being as Saeran slowly worked out the knots in his hair. It seemed he had done this many times before. Of course he still struggled with some of the tangles, but he was surprisingly considerate, holding the section of hair tightly at the roots so as to not pull Yoosungs hair as the prongs of the comb coaxed his hair out of its stubborn clusters. 

After a decent amount of time, Saeran pulled the scissors out from his back pocket and used the comb to gather portions of hair. Despite hearing the light snipping of a potential weapon behind Yoosungs ears, he felt oddly at peace. The fears he held for Saeran weren’t unprecedented, but something told him that right now there was no threat. Maybe it was because of Yoosung willingness the last time they had sex, or maybe Saeran really was just in a good mood. He’d seen Saeran’s mood swings before, most of them not needing a rhyme or reason. Although it was highly likely it stemmed from Yoosungs submission.

The passing thought of Yoosung using this to his advantage for future reference made him internally cringe. The idea of repeating the bouts of the event was enough to convince Yoosung to not act through with it...nearly. If he did it once, Yoosung was unsure if he was expected to do that again. Hands twitched nervous in his lap as he began to feel tension returning. Saeran’s fingertips lightly brushed across his temple and moved a lock of hair away from his face. The scissors weren’t visible to Yoosung, but he did see in his peripheral clusters of hair fluttering with each cut. 

His eyes followed what he could see, not wanting to move his head into the edge of the scissors and injuring himself. The wisps of blonde fell to the ground, slowly collecting together on the ground around Yoosung. When he bleached his hair, it was one of his first moments of independently exploring his identity. Ironically, it was only after Rika’s passing did Yoosung start to take her words of advice to be his own person. Although his change of hair color was a silent commemoration to his cousin, it was still his own act self identification.

Now he was losing that.

Seeing that his hair was growing out and losing that sense of self proclaimed individuality was heartbreaking. It felt as though his own identity was escaping him and becoming something that wasn’t his anymore. 

It was only when Yoosung felt the tears drop onto the back of his hands did he realize he had started crying. Biting his lip, Yoosung willed his emotions into submission. He couldn’t be seen crying, not right now. This was a rare, calm moment with Saeran and he didn’t want to risk it turning to shit with just a few tears. Luckily, Saerans sudden voice was enough to startle Yoosung back to the present.

“Almost finished, you did really well.”

“Th-” Yoosung stopped to clear his throat, knowing that an inevitable voice crack would give him away if he didn’t do so. “Thank you.”

“And you didn’t try anything stupid! I’m so proud.” Saeran cooed as he wrapped his arms around Yoosungs shoulders, bringing the pair of scissors into Yoosungs sight and kissing him on the cheek.

_ ‘Duh, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything that’d work anyway. _ ’ Was what he wanted to say, but instead nodded and lightly bumped his head against Saerans in a playful manner, hoping it’d appease him.

“Thanks.”

“How's your head?” Saeran asked as he unwrapped his arms and walked to the bag beside Yoosungs makeshift bed. In yet another one of Yoosungs periods of deep thoughts, he hadn’t noticed his migraine died down to a dull buzz.

“Oh...better.” 

“That's good, silly thing. You should’ve asked for water if you were going to pass out on me like that.”

_ It’s not like I knew I was going to faint. _

“Yeah...sorry.” Yoosung apologized as he watched Sarean pack up the comb and scissors once more and turn to him. Grazing his eyes up and down Yoosung, he gave an impish grin. Yoosung awkwardly shifted in his seat.

“...What?”

“You still have blonde tips, it’s cute.” he replied as he walked back over. Yoosungs entire body stiffened as Saeran approached and only stopped when his thighs pressed against the seat of the stool. Yoosungs legs were pushed apart with Saerans body alone. The prisoner leaned back as Saeran clasped the edges of the stool on either side of him and leaned in closely. Yoosung felt caged in. He lowered his head to avoid him, but Saerans head followed as it tilted to the side and gazed up at him.

“What’s wrong, I thought you liked me now?” The impish grin hadn’t left, if anything it had grown. Unsure of how to answer, Yoosung swallowed. Their noses were nearly touching, and the close proximity was more than enough to send Yoosung into a torrent of discomfort. Saeran let go of the stool to stroke his cheek. When Yoosung didn’t react Saeran took it upon himself to kiss him, pushing Yoosungs head back and forcing him to straighten his back.

Yoosung cried out in alarm as he nearly toppled off the stool, but had Saeran catch him and pull him back up. When he was upright again Saeran’s hungry kisses continued. Yoosung grasped onto Saerans loose tank top, hands shaking from the shot of adrenaline he got from nearly falling backward. Saeran’s tongue parted Yoosungues lips for him. It slipped in and prodded against Yoosungs tongue, coaxing it out and seemingly playing with it. 

Exhaustion was still fatiguing Yoosungs body, and although he had finally received water, he still hadn’t gotten anything sustainable. On top of that, Yoosung truly was aching from head to toe. To put it lightly: He felt like absolute dogshit. Yoosung was actually quite surprised he hadn’t gotten sick from how far Saeran had been pushing his body's limits.

The buzzing of his headache began to gain momentum once more as Yoosungs' distress raised. It was only when he felt Saeran’s touch slipping up his shirt did Yoosung gasp and impulsively grab his wrists to stop him.

“Wait, I-I still can’t-” he barely managed to stammer out. Not only did he reject Saeran, he physically stopped him, and although he didn’t want to go any further, it was still true that he didn’t think his body could handle any more strain on it. Fearfully glancing at Saeran’s face Yoosung was relieved to see he didn’t seem upset, rather he looked understanding. Instead Saeran dropped his hands away from Yoosungs' sides and stepped away.

“Alright, rest up.” Saeran said as he turned on his heel and headed over to the bag once again. Picking it up by the handle and shouldering it, Saeran headed to the cell door. It was a little insulting to Yoosung how at ease he seemed to be with his back turned to him and open for attack, but they both knew Yoosung wouldn’t do something like that. Instead Yoosung watched as Saeran removed the key from his left pocket, a motion Yoosung had nearly forgotten after being brought aboveground. The detail he used to pay so close attention to had been lost from his mind when he left the cell, but now that he was back it was just as pertinent as ever. 

Quiet, Yoosung watched as Saeran locked up before ascending the stairs. The heavy door shut with a dull thud. Yoosung raised a hand to touch his hair and was caught by surprise at how soft it felt. Combing it brought back it’s youthful health back, if even just a little. Not only that, but it was also back to its original length. He could only hope that Saeran didn’t give him a bad cut, as Yoosung didn’t have a mirror to check.

Looking around, Yoosung could see the pile of hair left behind. It was a little annoying how Saeran didn’t clean up afterward, but that emotion didn’t last long as the previous emotions he had been suppressing in front of Saeran began to bubble up again.

Slipping off the stool, Yoosung sank to his knees and stared down at the scattered blonde. It didn’t seem like Saeran had cut too much off, but seeing the tiny mounds showed just how long Yoosung's hair had gotten during his stay. Of course it had, it had been months. It didn’t seem that long in the mirror, then again that was when it was still uncombed. 

Yoosung gathered the strands in between his forefinger and thumb. Staring at them, Yoosung blindly retrieved more in his other hand and brought them up in the palm of his hand. Tears fell into the gathered hair. He felt stupid for crying over this, but losing nearly all of the bleached locks felt as though he were losing his old self and becoming something that didn’t belong to him. 

Clutching them to his chest, Yoosung bent over and pressed his forehead against the hair-littered floor. He finally let sobs wrack his weary body as he held onto what felt like the last of his fading identity.

It was then that Yoosung decided he would do whatever he had to do to get out of this hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More songs I have for this fic because I'm a slut for playlists:
> 
> Isolation by Cherry Glazerr (Yoosungs isolation)  
> Saccharine by Jazmin Bean (Saerans obsession)
> 
> I have more but they are low key spoilers for what I have planned :(


	11. It’s Not Like The Movies

It hadn’t been that long since Saeran left when Yoosung began to go over his options. After drying his tears and collecting his senses as best he could, Yoosung counted what resources he had: a mattress with fluff poking out of the worn down edges, a stool made from cheap breakable wood, and a thin blanket. Yoosung couldn’t think of any way to use the mattress other than to hide stuff inside it, although he didn’t have anything to hide. The stool legs he considered breaking off to make a makeshift weapon, but it was too dangerous to act on that without a plan of some sort first. Plus if Saeran came in to see his property destroyed he’d surely beat Yoosung with what was left of it. The blanket he could possibly use to tie something together, but once again he didn’t know what.

With some of the horror movies Seven used to force Yoosung to watch with him, a few had people escaping dire situations with little to no tools. Yoosung wasn’t clever like them. It was difficult for him to think outside of the box, all he had to go off of was stuff from the movies. Plus, his brain wasn’t functioning as well as he would prefer with the lack of nutrition. Yoosung snickered bitterly. If Saeran was so eager about him getting better then he should at least feed him. 

There was one thing he was able to decide on. Getting on Saeran's good side was key to any escape plan that he’d decide on. As much as Yoosung hated it, their last sexual encounter could actually work in his favor. Saeran’s demeanor had already begun to change around him since then, it was a lot more lax. Obviously Saeran hadn’t completely dropped his guard, Yoosung was his prisoner after all. In order to gain his trust Yoosung would have to do and say things he didn’t want to. Chances were things were going to lead to a lot more intimacy, sexual or not. This made Yoosung prematurely repulsed at himself, but he figured his pride had been damaged beyond repair anyway. There wasn’t much left that he could lose to Saeran.

Gaining his trust would still be hard, especially now since he still needed to recover and was unable to do much of anything physical just yet. The bigger part of Yoosung was relieved that any sex would be put on hold during this time, but it was a little disheartening that it would stunt the time it’s take to get closer to Saeran’s good side. 

Placing his seat on the edge of the mattress, Yoosung tried to brainstorm. His legs stretched out in front of him with his hands resting on his thighs as he stared intently into empty space. He considered the possibility that too friendly a dead give away. He would have to work up to that, for now he could pretend to like the touching more than he actually did without making it too obvious. Yoosung's fingers drummed rhythmically against his legs as he thought. With a frustrated sigh Yoosung lightly hit the side of his head.

“Come on, think you useless idiot!” He verbally abused himself as no worthwhile ideas came to mind. “Worthless, pathetic dummy…” It was going to take quite some time before Yoosung could settle on a plan.

  
  


-oOo-

  
  


The smell of ramen hit Yoosungs nostrils before he realized Saeran had come back. Yoosung sat up quickly from his position of being sprawled out on the bed. He hadn’t stopped thinking about ways to escape, but with nothing to show for it yet. Many of the ideas he had were merely fantasies that led into daydreaming before Yoosung realized he went off track again and pinched himself out of it to start over.

Saeran descended the stairs with a bowl in hand. Yoosung stayed on the opposite side of the cell as was expected of him. The keys clanged loudly against the lock. It opened with a dull click and Saeran swung the door open. Once he closed it behind him and locked it, he made his way towards Yoosung.

Yoosung sat cross legged on his new bedding and eagerly watched Saeran approach him with a steaming bowl of ramen and disposable chopsticks resting on top. With his thumb barely over the lip of the boal, Saeran placed it on the ground in front of his captive.

“Eat up.”

He didn’t have to say it twice, Yoosung nearly toppled forward as he snatched up the chopsticks and snapped them apart. His hand was shaking from malnutrition, which made Yoosung have to hold his wrist to keep it steady as he bent over on his knees to eat. Greedily shoveled the noodles into his mouth, he barely even noticed the light burns he was inflicting inside his mouth. It had been way too long since last he had a decent tasting meal, making this one feel heavenly. Saeran settled himself down on the ground in front of him, leaning forward and resting his chin in his hand.

“Oh come on, it hasn’t been that long since I last fed you, it’s only been three days.” Saeran sounded offended. Yoosung faltered for a moment. It had only been three days, but it felt like much longer. This was probably due to the uneven sleeping patterns and overworked body. Without much more thought Yoosung continued eating, he could worry about that after he inhaled the food before it could get taken away from him.

His favorite part, drinking the leftover broth at the end of his meal. Saeran watched with amusement as the bowl tipped back and Yoosung gulped it down with the tenacity of a desert survivor. The liquid escaped the corners of his mouth and rolled down his neck.

“Hah!” Yoosung exhaled with a satisfied sound. Manners momentarily forgotten as a belch escaped, which he quickly realized and slapped a hand over his own mouth. Saeran laughed and ruffled Yoosungs' now semi-tidy hair.

“Cute, watching you eat that made me want to eat  _ you _ up.” he teased. While wiping his mouth with the back of his hand Yoosung turned his sheepish gaze away. 

“Thank you for the food.” 

“Of course my little lamb, anything for you.” Saeran brushed the back of his finger across Yoosungs cheek. The man had gotten a lot touchier outside of the sexual stuff. He was acting more so as a lover would than someone keeping him hostage. Yoosung didn’t resist. As much as he wanted to flinch away from Saeran, this would have to be the start of building up trust. He knew the chance of freedom would be slim if Saeran was suspicious. Without a doubt Yoosung still needed to be careful, it would be way too out of character if he did a 180 and completely adapted to what Saeran wanted.

He needed to start small. Raising his arm, Yoosung touched the back of Saerans hand. A light action, nothing big, but just enough to show even just the tiniest bit of acceptance. Saeran was quick to turn his palm around and lace their fingers together.

“Hurry and get better, okay? I’m dying to have more fun with you.” Saeran sounded worried. To Yoosung, it was a joke. If Saeran was so concerned he wouldn’t have driven him to this point. Yoosung kept these thoughts to himself, instead meekly nodding.

“Sure thing.” He fidgeted. “Um…”

“What is it?”

“I...think I can get better quicker if I...eat better.” It was an extremely risky indirect request, but Saeran seemed to be in a good mood. There was a possibility that he could be at least a little more accommodating. Yoosung's inner questions were answered when he felt Sarean’s grip tighten, warning him.

“Are you saying that I’m not giving enough?” The cold in his voice chilled Yoosung. A small bout of anger pounded it’s fist against Yoosungs skull in agitation. Of course this wasn’t enough, for God's sake Yoosung was being subjected to periods of starvation! However he wasn’t allowed to voice this opinion, the grip on his hand was a testament to that to that.

“N-no...sorry. I was just thinking out loud.” Yoosung managed to mumble out. The grip on his hand withdrew. The space between them suddenly had an air of tension and Yoosung silently cursed himself for already starting to blow his plan before he even had one. “Um, I really liked the ramen.” Yoosung said in an attempt to fix the mood.

“Wow, you really do settle for the bare minimum, don’t you? That’s just the store bought stuff.” Saeran laughed at him. Gritting his teeth, Yoosung shrugged.

“I used to eat it a lot anyway.”

“That’s right, the stereotypical college student with a shit diet.” Saeran teased him.

“Well, only during finals. I didn’t have enough time to cook.”

“Oh, you cook?” Saeran suddenly seemed interested, catching Yoosung off guard. This would be the first time that Yoosung could recollect as Saeran showing any interest in his personal life.

“Uhm...yeah. I like… _ liked _ …to cook.”

“What kind of stuff did you make?” Saeran rested his chin on his hand once more as he gazed intently at him. The sudden curiosity made Yoosung itch in discomfort.

“Th-the usual meals I guess...I’ve been told I can make a pretty mean kimchi dish.”

“Oh? I’ll have to try it out sometime.”

Yoosung tried to analyse Saeran’s unreadable expression. The thought of cooking for Saeran was weird on many different levels. Being able to cook while under Saerans care hadn’t even been a consideration to Yoosung before. 

“M…maybe.”

“You know, I don’t get a lot of time to cook either. How would you like to start cooking for me?” Saeran suggested. The look on Yoosungs face must have been obvious, as Saeran exploded in bosturious laughter. “Why are you so surprised? I’ve been trying to think of ways to make you useful anyway. This could be your way to prove to me you’re not a complete burden.”

At a complete loss for words, Yoosung listened to Saeran’s rambling. Truthfully he couldn’t tell if Saeran was messing with him or if he actually would let Yoosung cook something. The thought of being back in a kitchen and hearing the different sounds of food sizzling in a pot or pan, and the different aromas mixing in the air, it made Yoosung itch in a bit of excitement. It took him by surprise when he realized just how much he missed cooking, it really was something special to him. There were a lot of things he missed, even the little everyday nothings. What he would give to just touch a wall in his old apartment one more time. 

“You have that look again,” Saeran chimed in the silence, startling Yoosung.

“Huh?”

“You have that look when you lose yourself in your thoughts.” Saeran used his foot to nudge the empty bowl. It scraped across against the concrete, making Yoosung wince at the harsh noise. Leaning forward, Saeran moved closer to Yoosung. With his hands pressing down on the mattress on either side of him, Saeran seemed to slither up and now had his face inches away from Yoosungs neck. He could feel his body heat. Yoosung stayed frozen, unsure of what to do or say. Uncertainty ate away at him as he was unsure of how to react to this. Glancing at his side with minimal movement, he saw the chopsticks.

Sudden imagery intruded in Yoosung's mind of himself grabbing a fistful of Saerans hair, yanking his head back, and driving the utensils deep into his eye. It was bloody, Saeran was screaming, Yoosung had blood on his hands and face as he ran for the door...which was still locked. The flash of imagery scared Yoosung, it was way too violent for him, but survival was priority. If he wanted to survive, it might lead to something like that. Still, the fact that Yoosung thought of anything that violent scared him. The only thing he could do was hope it was a fluke thought and that his mind wasn’t breaking as bad as he already thought it to be.

Unfortunately, even if he did go through with the impulsive scheme, he still needed to grab the key from Saeran. Even blinded, Yoosung had no doubt Saeran would have little trouble restraining him if he tried to take anything from his pockets.

The feeling of Saeran pressing his lips against Yoosungs neck sent goosebumps, both from the sensitivity and the fear. Anxiety began to flood him. Saeran had said that he wasn’t going to do anything, did he change his mind? Yoosung physically wouldn’t be able to withhold. 

“S…Sae…” Barely audible, Yoosung wasn’t able to finish saying his name as his throat closed in on itself. He gripped the blanket underneath him in a white-knuckled grip. He was scared. Saeran didn’t speak, instead he raised his hands to press back on Yoosungs shoulders, gently making him lay down. Yoosung was frozen in fear, but finally found his voice.

“Wait, I can’t…” 

“Relax, I’m not going far. I don’t want to shatter you, I just want to have a little fun,” he murmured against Yoosung above the collarbone. Yoosung squirmed as Saerans hand slid up Yoosungs shirt. A gasp forcibly escaped Yoosung when Saeran gave his sides a light squeeze. Saeran stole that gasp in a kiss. The urge to press his lips tighter together to prevent Saeran from entering his mouth was strong, but he knew if he wanted to get closer to Saeran, then kissing would be the bare minimum.

While gently holding Yoosungs face in one hand, Saerans tongue began to coax Yoosungs out. Complying, Yoosung stuck his tongue out with the kiss. A pulse of electricity shot up his spine as Saerans lips closed around the tongue and lightly sucked. An embarrassing noise escaped causing Yoosungs face to flush an even deeper red. Amusement pulled the corners of Saerans mouth further apart in a smirk. The hand gripping Yoosungs' side slid up his shirt and out of the collar, now grasping on the other boy's neck. Yoosung seemed so small and frail underneath Saeran, and the way he shivered at the lightest touch was maddening to him. 

Breaking the kiss, Saeran pulled away with a slack jaw and tongue lolled out and stared down at his work. Yoosung was shaking, whether it be from fear or arousal. His hands rested palms up at either side of his head and his chest exposed from Saeran’s arm being shoved up the shirt and having his fingers wrapped around Yoosungs neck. Ruddy cheeks complimented his teary eyes, half open and blankly staring up at Saeran. His lips parted slightly to accommodate his light panting and someone's spit ran over the corner of his mouth. Saeran wiped it away with his thumb causing Yoosung to close his mouth from self consciousness. Bending over again Saeran landed a gentle kiss before sitting back up.

“Good boy,” he complimented with an oddly dry tone. Yoosung blinked back the tears fuzzing up his vision and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He startled at the temperature of his hand and realized that it was a lot colder than he realized. The intimate exchange heated some things up for Yoosung, which now brought to his attention that the cell was definitely cooler than he had realized. Saeran, impatient for more, took his hand and moved it away from Yoosungs face and the space between their lips disappeared again. 

_ Geez, what’s with all the kissing? _

Only able to yield, Yoosung let Saeran do what he wanted. As long as it didn’t lead to anything else, then he should be okay. The meal had begun to bring back a small buzz of energy, but he was far from ready for any physical stressors. Then again, Saeran wasn’t known to have the greatest self restraint. In fact, Yoosung was deeply surprised that Saeran hadn’t pushed for more by now. Perhaps he had more self restraint then Yoosung thought, he just didn’t bother to use it. 

“You haven’t been kissing me back.” Saeran finally pulled away and pressed the back of his hand against his own mouth and glaring down at him. “Why?”

“I…” Yoosung struggled for a response. Truthfully he was too much in a mental haze to really pay attention to his own actions, rather he just wanted to lie there and let Saeran do as he pleased so he could leave. “I’m just...tired.” 

“Could’ve fooled me,” Suddenly Saeran groped Yoosungs groin, making the boy yelp as though he’d just been kicked in the ribs. Much to Yoosungs dismay, he had a half chub formed from all the kissing. He couldn’t help it, Saeran was starting to gain expertise in finding what made Yoosungs body quiver and mind go blank. His grip shifted and Yoosung could feel each finger through the sweats he wore.

“Wait, please…” The plea sounded more dejected than begging. He knew if Saeran had this in mind, there was no stopping him. Even if he tried to stop it, it’d only make it that much worse, his sore hole was proof of that.

“What’s wrong, you’re getting hard but you won’t kiss me back? Is that all I am to you?” There was a hint of hurt in his voice. Yoosung wanted to spit up directly in his face, angry that Saeran had any sense of offense from this. Instead he reached down, keeping eye contact with Saeran, and gently took a hold of his wrist. He didn’t move it closer or further, only keeping a light hold on his wrist.

“Hey...im sorry, okay?” Yoosungs voice cracked as he spoke. “I didn’t mean anything by it, I really am just tired and...weak.” He hated to say it out loud, but if that’s what it took to stop Saeran from going any further, then it was a small price to pay. Saeran’s icy eyes flitted back and forth between Yoosungs own eyes, boring into them. A bead of sweat tickled Yoosungs temple as he forced himself to keep eye contact and give Saeran the most reassuring look he could muster up. Finally the hold on Yoosungs crotch left and Yoosung felt his body relax in relief. He opened his mouth to thank Saeran before realizing that Saeran was moving himself forward and straddled Yoosungs chest without sitting down on him.

“Um…” Yoosung shrunk back in discomfort. His confusion was short-lived as Saeran started to undo his own belt. It was no surprise that Saeran was already hard, but it still made Yoosung flinch when his cock fell out and lightly tapped him on the tip of the nose. It almost seemed to be playfully taunting Yoosung. Saeran's hand closed around himself and furiously started pumping.

Yoosung slightly tilted his head to the side to avoid knuckles crashing into his already bruised cheek. He did his best to hide the discomfort as he could only watch as Saeran masterbated on him. He dared to glance up at Saeran to see how he looked, maybe in hopes of reading his expression or just from plain curiosity. Yoosung would have thought that Saeran had on some look of pleasure, but he wasn’t expecting any pleasurable look to  _ this _ extent. It completely caught him off guard.

Saeran was staring down at him through half closed eyes and flushed cheeks. Lips parted slightly and eyebrows lightly pinched together. He looked in absolute bliss jerking off onto Yoosung. His body bent forward and his hand pressed against the mattress to hold his weight up as his hand continued to vigorously stroke himself. With Saeran closer, Yoosung could see the face even clearer, although he had to tilt his head back a bit to see it. Something about it made it difficult for him to pull his eyes away from.

Yoosung seemed to be stuck staring up at Saeran with him staring right back down. There was something thrilling about the stagnant eye contact. Yoosung felt his toes twitch on one foot as a different feeling began to stir. 

_ Am I…? Am I seriously getting excited from this? _

His suspicions were confirmed with the feeling of his sweatpants tightening around the hips. Yoosung thanked whatever god there could be out there that Saeran was in a position where he would be unable to see Yoosungs bulge unless he twisted himself around, and he seemed way too invested in his actions to do anything of the sort. It gave Yoosung good incentive to keep Saeran's gaze locked with him, although he still would have trouble looking away even if he could. Saerans facial expression was dangerously captivating, for reasons Yoosung still was unsure of. There was something so vulnerable about the way Saeran was gazing down at him. Clearly Yoosung still hated Saeran with every fiber of his body and mind, so being so infatuated with the way he was looking at Yoosung with little moans was perplexing to say the least.

“Hng..I’m c...cumming, I’m cumming, I’m c-” Saerans short chant was cut short as he released. The eye contact finally broke as Yoosung quickly shut his eyes. Luckily he closed his eyes in time as shots of cum adorned his face. He continued to squeeze his eyes shut and flinch with each spurt that hit him. Saerans moans danced in his ears as the climax slowly fell from its peak. They stayed there a moment in silence before Saeran shifted his weight away and off of Yoosung.

Yoosung was able to open one eye but still had to keep the other shut to prevent the cum on his eyelid from seeping into his eye. He watched as Saeran put himself back away into his pants and redid the buttons. Glancing up at Yoosung again he spotted the predicament and leaned forward, using his thumb to wipe away the cum from his eye as best he could. When that didn’t work, Saeran fumbled in his pockets for a moment before finding what he was looking for and pulled it out. Of all things for Saeran to be carrying around, a pretty, paled purple handkerchief with floral bordered stitching was one of the last things Yoosung would guess. It seemed oddly out of character for him, yet here he was with it in hand and dabbing away the cum.

Pocketing the handkerchief with little worry of bodily fluids, Saeran stood up and brushed the dust and dirt off his knees. Suddenly recalling his excitement, Yoosung hurriedly rolled over to his stomach. He attempted to mask the sudden odd movement by pretending to be embarrassed and hide his face in the mattress. Well, there wasn’t much to pretend; he _ was _ embarrassed. His face lightly pressed further into the mattress as Saeran briefly ruffled his hair and whispered “Cute.”

The two didn’t exchange any other words and Yoosung quietly listened to Saeran leaving. Clothes shifting and footsteps matched with the light tremors of the ground of Saerans departure. The cell door and lock was as loud as ever, and the steps up the stairs only stopped before the heavy door closed and the silence that felt loud fell upon the basement. Yoosung shifted uncomfortably and raised his hips away from the mattress, unable to stand the pressure on his erection against the surface anymore. He pivoted his body and laid flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling and doing his best to ignore what his lower body was doing.

_ I must be losing my goddamn mind.  _

Which was all the more reason to leave as soon as he could. However, Yoosung had a feeling that it would be quite a while before he could ever escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More songs for the fic!  
> Hands Around My Throat by Death In Vegas  
> Run by Air
> 
> Sorry this one took a while to get out, motivation has been lacking, but I’m determined not to drop this ^^


	12. Time Heals For Now

Quite some time had passed and Saeran had kept his word. He hadn’t touched Yoosung past his oddly affectionate mannerisms. The food options had increased from starvation to moderate meals. Well, as moderate as one meal a day could get. Still, Yoosung was starting to reobtain a healthier complexion with his cheeks starting to fill out a little and gain some of its old color. He wasn’t sure what caused Saeran’s change of heart but suspected it was from what Yoosung had said about healing up faster if he had more to eat.

Although Saeran was keeping to his word, he didn’t mask his desires and would often be touching Yoosung in one way or another, be it holding him close by his side or absentmindedly playing with his hair as Yoosung ate. It was uncomfortable, but bearable. 

There was an obvious growing sense of frustration and longing from Saeran, many times during his visits Yoosung had thought Saeran would finally snap and take him right then and there. There, of course, were a few close calls with him pushing Yoosung onto his back and looming over him on his hands and knees, staring down at Yoosung like a starving wolf. Yoosung could only imagine what his own face looked like at those times, wide-eyed and fearful for sure. Yet somehow Saeran always managed to pull himself together and crawl off of him, leaving the rest of his visits in an awkward silence. 

The harsh bruises from abuse were starting to fade and his wounds slowly healing up. Yoosung had to admit, this was a  _ really _ nice change of pace. In fact, he even caught himself realizing that he was becoming slightly more relaxed around Saeran. He still flinched at unwarned touches and cowered at Saeran giving him the look when Yoosung was pushing his luck, but other than that he was slowly losing a good portion of his usual discomfort from Saerans closeness. The fear of abuse was waning as time passed on, and he couldn’t help but hope that this would continue even after he finished healing.

Sadly, Yoosung knew the time where he was healthy enough to withstand sexual abuse was growing closer. He was quite good at burying that anxiety that had been growing daily, but it usually bared itself, teeth and all, in his dreams. The nightmares stunted his sleeping schedule, causing the dark circles under his eyes to turn even starker against his pale skin. The fear of falling asleep kept him awake, and the nightmares jolted him out of sleep within an hour at most. One instance Yoosung had sat up screaming in terror just as Saeran was opening the door to his cell, actively startling him. 

“Jesus, you scared the hell out of me.” The man scolded as he turned to shut the barred door. Focusing his blurred vision on Saeran, Yoosung tried to pull himself out of his panic upon awakening from nightmare-Saeran to the real Saeran. There wasn’t much of a difference between the two, but at least this one had been showing mercy lately. 

Placing a hand on his own chest in an attempt to calm his racing heart as the man approached him, Yoosung tried to regain his composure as best he could to bring himself back to alertness. The effects of the nightmare still haunting him and putting him on edge caused his body to stiffen as Saeran knelt down on the mattress beside him. A frown pulled down on Saeran’s face as Yoosungs guard went up. 

“That bad huh? What were you dreaming about?” 

Yoosung audibly gulped. Of course he wasn’t going to be truthful of it being about him, the blonde-growing-brunette knew Saeran would most definitely take offense to it. 

“…I don’t remember.” He turned his gaze down to his fidgeting hands twisting the coarse blanket around his fingertips. The frown on Saeran deepened at the apparent lie. He let out a hum as he settled his seating closer to Yoosung and put a hand on his thigh.

Yoosungs guard instinctively shot up higher at the touch. It was meant to be comforting, but had the underlying selfish intentions lingering as the touch turned into light rubbing. Yoosung shuddered and looked away, but Saeran gently took him by the chin and turned his face forward into view. For a moment he stayed staring intently at Yoosung, attempting to read his expression. Guilt and discomfort caused Yoosungs pretty purple eyes to drop its gaze. Despite the obvious lie, Saeran found this reaction very cute, and very …easy. He could barely contain himself as he slowly smiled at the wonderful opportunity to take advantage of the moment. 

“Must’ve been quite the dream, you poor thing look at you, you’re shaking.” He pecked a kiss on Yoosungs damp forehead. “Do you remember the last time you had a nightmare, how I helped you?”

The momentary confusion disappeared as Yoosung realized that Saeran was unaware of his dreams. The last time he saw Yoosung wake up like this was in his bed after the first night of sex. When Saeran flew in and held him until the panic petered out, then offered a kiss to soothe Yoosungs lingering anxieties. Saeran’s fingertips brushed against Yoosungs cheek as he moved to tuck hair behind his ear expectantly. 

“I…yeah.” Yoosung nodded in response, deciding to keep the nightmares to himself. The white haired man leaned in closer, his mint breath tickling Yoosungs nose. 

“Would you like me to help you again?”

Yoosungs mouth opened to politely decline, but he quickly shut it again. Not only was it not the smartest decision to decline, but he realized this was a perfect opportunity to gain the trust that he had painstakingly been trying to find ways to do so. Feigning hesitation, Yoosung took a moment before answering. 

“O…okay.” The nervousness wasn’t fake, he of course still had hang ups about being so affectionate with someone like Saeran. He felt his heart skip a beat in light panic as Saeran’s eyebrows went up in surprise. Maybe Yoosung agreed too quickly. Self doubt weaseled its ugly head into Yoosungs mind and caused him to work himself up with trepidation. The inner panic froze as Saeran’s gentle laugh interrupted. 

“I’m glad to see you’re finally getting more comfortable here …” his voice lowered as his fingers slid down to the back of Yoosungs neck. Goosebumps raised at the touch on his sensitive skin as Saeran’s lips wasted no time in finding Yoosungs. 

He was gentle, surprising Yoosung who expected at least a little aggression from the pent up assailant. His lips were soft against Yoosungs chapped ones, pushing in its relaxing effect. The stiffness in his body slowly drained as he allowed himself to be taken over with this. Saeran didn’t appear to have any intent to take this further than it needed to be. Yoosung, deprived of such a truly comforting touch, allowed himself to relax. Given his containment, he reasoned with himself that it was okay to enjoy what little he could. After all, beggars can’t be choosers. 

Saeran’s tongue slid its way between Yoosungs lips and into his mouth. It grazed across the front of his teeth before pushing further in and prodded against Yoosungs tongue. He shivered at the sensations he hadn’t felt in quite some time. Forcing himself to relax more, Yoosung tentatively pushed his tongue back. He hated to admit it but once again it was helping clear his head from any lingering anxieties of the nightmare. He felt Saeran’s fingers move up the back of his neck and slide into his hair. 

Yoosung enjoyed the soft touches. After the first few months of being deprived of it and only exposed to harsh treatment, he was becoming eager to hold onto what he could. At first it made him feel uneasy, like it was one step away from turning violent. This was true, but only if Yoosung provoked it somehow. The more time he spent with Saeran the more he began to catch onto his triggers and tells. All the knowledge built up from this was helping him become comfortable with this affection. It was a twisted affection, but it was all he had. 

He caught himself leaning forward into the kiss, their tongues now slipping against one another with a hint of eagerness. Although this was an attempt to gain trust, Yoosung truly was beginning to enjoy this. Maybe a bit too much. The sudden fear that he was going to get used to this to the point of not wanting to leave hit him like a brick. He jerked himself back and covered his mouth with the back of his hand, staring wide-eyed at the other male. 

“What, what’s wrong?” Saeran blinked in confusion. It took a moment before Yoosung could bring himself to speak. 

“S…sorry. It’s…nothing.” He said as he leaned in again, eager to build more trust, but was stopped by Saeran’s hand over Yoosungs mouth. The boy looked at him with light confusion. 

“Nah, the mood is ruined.” He sighed and stood back up. Yoosung looked down at his hands with a light flush of embarrassment and silently wondered how something so small could ruin the entire ‘mood’. Something about this made him feel empty, like a hole was forming inside his chest. He wanted more, he wanted to feel Saeran’s affection, and that I’d what terrified him the most. 

“Sorry…” he mumbled, failing to mask the disappointment in his tone. The following moment of silence brought Yoosungs gaze up to peek curiously at Saeran, wondering why there was a pause. The man's expression was unreadable as he stared right back down at him, which was something that wasn’t uncommon. The intense gaze made Yoosung drop his eyes and fidget with his fingers nervously, wondering if he was being too obvious. The answer of course was yes. 

“I’ll be back.” Saeran’s harsh voice pierced the silence and made Yoosung wince. Saeran spun on his heel and briskly walked away to the door once more, leaving the metaphorical hole in Yoosung's chest to throb painfully.

Once again he was being left alone to his own thoughts and no one to hold him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the wait, apologies that I dropped off for a few months. I can’t say with certainty that I’ll be able to keep up with regular posts anymore, but I don’t want to give up on this fic. I’m really enjoying writing this story and I’m happy to hear that people are enjoying it!
> 
> Another song I found fitting for this story, more so the feeling it gives than anything else:  
> Pretty Cvnt by Sewerslvt


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